by Gina Sestak
One of the many short-term jobs I held as an undergraduate involved end-of-term surveys. I think we were paid $15 per class to show up on the final day and pass around a list of questions through which students could rate the professor. I would collect the surveys when the class ended and turn them in.
I remember one bleak December day, in my third or fourth year. I'd been up most of the night working on a research paper. I rolled out of bed after two or three hours exhausted slumber in my hovel -- ahem, I mean, my lovely off-campus sleeping room, took a quick shower to wash away some of the grogginess, dressed in the same torn jeans and T-shirt I'd dropped on the floor the night before, grabbed my old coat, and ran the quarter mile or so to the Cathedral of Learning. [For anyone unfamiliar with the University of Pittsburgh, this is a tall beautiful Gothic building in which classes were held.] The 8 a.m. class was full of first-year students. They were all neatly dressed, clothes clean and pressed, hair combed, and faces washed. Alert. I passed out the surveys and leaned against the wall, too tired to stand. While the students filled them out, I amused myself by cracking the little sleeves of ice that had formed around my damp hair in the sub-zero temperatures outside, and I realized then that I would never be "normal" in the sense that these kids were normal. That's when I knew I had to skew the norm to make it more like me.
"How can you do that?" you may ask.
"By taking surveys," I reply.
And ever since, I've been filling out a lot of questionaires. I'm flattered that marketers want to know what kind of toothpaste I prefer, or whether I'd like to see dead loved ones' faces etched into their tombstones. I've participated in focus groups and even, when I was still married, spent three months filling out daily forms on sexual behavior. My ex- and I were one of only TEN heterosexual couples in the study. [Isn't that a scary thought?]
That's not to say I enjoy taking any survey. I hate the ones that try to make you chose a particular answer, like:
I firmly believe that (choose one):
a. George W. Bush is the greatest president ever, OR
b. We are all pawns of Satan, destined for everlasting torment in Hell.
I also detest wishy-washy choices that include the word "expectations" because that word is so subjective. Whenever I'm asked whether a particular event met my expectations, I'm tempted to write, "No. I expected it to be the stupidest, most boring half-hour of my life, but it was even worse. It EXCEEDED EXPECTATIONS!"
Do you fill out surveys? If so, do you think:
a. questionaires are really boring OR
b. this is the way that we can really change the world!!!
Let me know.
I kind of like surveys. Except for those people at the mall who try to hijack you when you're doing important things like shopping for shoes.
ReplyDeleteI always do the ones on store receipts, you know, "tell us how we did and you can win a $1000 gift card."
I even like filling out the evil FAFSA (online form for student financial aid) every year. Not exactly a survey, but you still get to fill in dots.
I've always tended to avoid surveys, but you've given me a new perspective on them...swaying things my way. Hmm. I like it.
ReplyDeleteActually, I am currently keeping an Arbitron radio ratings diary. I listen to very little radio, but I'm listening more this week just so I can fill in a few spaces and give the oldies stations a boost. So I guess I'm doing my part to skew the norm.
My favorite survey question: If you say an acquaintance walking down the sidewalk, would you cross the street to avoid him? Tory, that's a question on one of your kind of surveys, I think.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter could read in pre-school. ONe of her favorite things to read was those restaurant surveys you find betweeen the salt & pepper shakers at the kind of restaurants where precocious preschoolers are welcome. She filled them out all the time. Until she finally won a stuffed animal that was so big IT DIDN'T FIT INTO THE MINIVAN. We donated it to a school auction because I couldn't imagine having such a gigantic animal in the house all the time.
Nancy, I hate to admit it but I've gone out of my way to avoid people like that. It's usually in the grocery store. I'll see someone I really don't want to get stuck talking to for ten minutes and I'll duck down the next aisle!
ReplyDeleteTerrible, I know.
Actually, the type of research I did involved open-ended questions, like, "Tell me why you chose to donate bone marrow to someone you didn't know."
ReplyDeleteBeing a researcher, I used to do surveys out of obligation. However, like you, Gina, the close-ended ones drove me nuts. So now I make a distinction: I'll answer research surveys but not marketting and sales ones. I figure the corporations large enough to administer them won't make anything I like, anyway.
The arbitron diary was my favorite. How do I know what I'm listening to anyways? Like I'm going to write down the station while I'm driving or jogging.
ReplyDeleteI just filled in the stations that I remember the most but it was just bs. I listen to kiss the most and there is a new fm hot station but I don't know the call numbers so I don't write it down and I refuse to put down 97 I hate them that is all they have on at work!
PS: they only paid me $5 for a weeks work!