Some Twitter Pet Peeves

by Joyce

I started writing this post about Twitter and realized that only the cool people who are on Twitter will know what the hell I'm talking about. But, you know what? I'm going to write about it anyway.

You may or may not be surprised to know that I have a few pet peeves. Regarding Twitter, that is. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Twitter. It's the things that certain tweeters do that bug the hell out of me.

One thing that annoys me is when people expect you to follow them back just because they follow you. I don't autofollow. When someone follows me, I check their tweetstream to see what they're tweeting about. If it's tweet after tweet of junk, profanity, or anything at all political, I don't follow back. I have unfollowed people for the same reason.

I've also unfollowed people with an overabundance of my next pet peeve: Too many #FF and/or #WW tweets. You non-Twitter people are really confused right now, aren't you? #FF is the hashtag for Follow Friday, #WW stands for Writer Wednesday. The idea is to use them in your tweet and list a few people to get others to follow them. The operative word here is FEW. I don't want my tweetstream filled with so many #FFs and #WWs that I have to scroll down for five minutes to get to something worthwhile. I have yet to follow anyone through an #FF or #WW. I recently unfollowed someone who had 30 separate #FF tweets (yes, I counted them) one right after the other. I couldn't help but wonder how long it took him to type all that.

Other than that, I love Twitter. I've met a lot of nice people there. It is, without a doubt, the place to be if you want to learn about anyone involved in the publishing industry. It's crucial for anyone looking for an agent. Many, many agents tweet. Twitter is the best place to get to know what they're like and see if he or she is someone you'd like to work with.

Call me a Twitter evangelist if you'd like. Get thee to Twitter. Immediately.

Robin Allen Interview - If You Can't Stand the Heat - a Poppy Markham mystery

Interview by C.L. Phillips

Robin Allen, your debut mystery is out - If You Can't Stand the Heat.  Tell us about Poppy Markham.  What makes her remarkable?

The first book in the clean, humorous Poppy Markham: Culinary Cop mystery series was released on May 8, 2011 by Midnight Ink. It’s available both as a paperback and electronically on the Kindle, Nook, and eBook.

Oh, that Poppy. She loves rules and regulations, lists and procedures, things that are black and white. Her t’s must be crossed, her i’s dotted, and her clothes arranged by type and color in her closet. Poppy is a planner. She likes to know every little detail about every little thing in advance. When she enters a restaurant’s walk-in refrigerator, she likes to know that she’s going to find milk, eggs, and cheese stored at the proper temperature, not a flock of unplucked pheasants filled with buckshot hanging from the shelves. But if she does find that, she knows what to do because there are procedures.

Poppy cannot abide people who try to get away with something, whether it’s a cook trying to hide his infectious case of pinkeye, a litterbug flicking a cigarette butt out his car window, or a killer trying to frame Poppy’s territorial stepsister for the murder of a horrid little French chef. Poppy wants justice for all. She also doesn’t want to get sucked back into Markham’s, so there’s that incentive.

 

What's your next project?  Is Poppy getting in more trouble?

In the second book, Stick a Fork In It, Poppy is doing a food permit inspection on a new restaurant with an unusual theme. From the beginning, the inspection is anything but routine, but she’s handling it—until someone dies. Was it murder or suicide? Poppy has to know.  
When you go in a restaurant, what's your biggest fear?

Health inspectors perform two surprise inspections every year. I’m always wondering if they just got inspected or if they’re due. Restaurants are usually on their best behavior after an inspection, but a few months down the road? No so much.
Now that you've been through the publication process, what do you know now that you wish you knew at the beginning?  What would you do differently?

Like Poppy, I like to know the rules and expectations, so I did a lot of research before I started the process. I asked this same question of several published friends and listened to their answers, and I read several author and agent blogs. Here’s what I learned: There are no do-overs. You have one chance with an agent, editor, or reader. One. Make it count. Don’t be in a hurry with anything. Take your time to get everything exactly, perfectly right—your book, your query, your synopsis, your agent contract, your publishing contract—because you’re going to live with the results for the rest of your life.

Also, agents and editors don’t really care if you use adverbs in your prose.

If I could do things differently, I would publish under a pseudonym and have an extrovert with a PhD from Toastmasters give radio interviews for me. I would also use adverbs more liberally and regularly. 
Who is your writing hero?  What other authors do you read?

As the ultimate creator and storyteller, God is my hero, and I love His bestselling book, the Holy Bible. There are also several human authors I look forward to reading. I love Ben Rehder’s Blanco County mystery series that features a Texas game warden, David Liss’s complex historical mysteries, Reginald Hill’s British Dalziel and Pascoe British police mysteries, Donald E. Westlake’s Dortmunder capers, Pete Hauptman’s gambling stories, and Arthur Conan Doyle’s brilliant Sherlock Holmes adventures. I also enjoy the Spanish author Arturo Pérez-Reverte (in translation), Anthony Bourdain (in moderation), and Peter Mayle. I’m drawn to off-center characters with any sort of DSM-IV-inspired personality disorder. My second-favorite book is John Lanchester’s The Debt to Pleasure, and my very favorite book is John Kennedy Toole’s A Confederacy of Dunces.

Like Poppy, I’m a fan of the Coen brothers’ movie, The Big Lebowski, and drop little Easter egg references throughout my books.

Thanks for having me! I’m happy to answer any questions your readers leave in the comments.

The Pause That Refreshes

By Martha Reed

May was an exceptionally busy month because of the PennWriters conference. I went into it ready to pitch the first novel of my Nantucket series, NO REST FOR THE WICKED. That strategy included a full array of pitches of varying lengths (1 sentence, 1 paragraph, 2 paragraphs, full), a query letter, a synopsis and sample chapters in PDF (first 30 pages, first 3 chapters, full). It’s a miracle my flash drive didn’t implode.

A lot of terrific things came out of that conference. I met agent Victoria Skurnick who requested a full. I got to hang out with my fellow Sisters in Crime siblings and adopted sibling and freelance editor Ramona Long. That is always insightful. I was inspired by Jonathan Maberry’s keynote speech and frightened by both his level of success and output. The man is an automaton fueled by Starbuck’s hi-test but boy! Does he sound like he’s having fun.

Then comes the morning after. You know the feeling. It’s like the Friday after Thanksgiving. All that effort and production and then you look around and think: ok, what do I do now? I imagine Colin Firth felt this after winning his Oscar. You don’t want to go to sleep because then all that lovely effort comes to an end.

I’ve decided to do something radical. I’m taking the month of June off.

I know, I know, it's a scary thought. I’ve been working on my Nantucket series idea for 13 years. Lucky 13, in case you’re superstitious. I’ve written two full-length novels and outlined the third. I’ve got an idea for a completely different series that may actually be a screenplay, and I think this one is heading for comedy. I hope so. Everyone needs a good laugh these days. I have signed on for an intensive mss workshop moderated by Nancy Martin that runs through July, and I’m looking forward to digging into that.

In the meantime, I’m going to sip lemonade on my patio and consider: What do I want to write next? It’s exhilarating not to be on a self-imposed deadline. Kind of scary, too. I’ve stepped off the treadmill. I can’t wait to see what comes next!

EVERYBODY DOES IT

by Gina Sestak

Which do you think is harder?  Describing an unusual experience - rafting down the Amazon, building a pyramid - in a way that makes it come alive for readers, or describing a common occurrence, something everyone has done?   I'm thinking it's the latter.

No one but a traveller who did it, or maybe a National Geographic addict, is likely to notice flaws in the Amazon account, whereas everybody and their brother will notice the inaccuracies in a commonplace account.

I was thinking about this while I planned to write this post about a very ordinary experience, one almost all of us have been through.  Death.  The death of a loved one.  The death of a pet.

My cat Taffy died last week.

Taffy came to me in 1997, after my mother died.  He had been an adult stray when she took him in, so I never knew him as a kitten.  Sometimes I wondered whether he had ever been one.

Taffy didn't play.  He was too sophisticated for activities like chasing balls.  If I shook a string in front of him, he would glance at the string, then give me an elegant stare, as if to say, "Are you out of your mind?"  Our other cat Dusty (who passed away summer before last) was always trying to entice Taffy into wrestling.  He would pop up over the edge of a sofa or bed and bite Taffy's feet, trying to make him mad enough to chase him.  [Dusty used to do the same thing to me.]

Taffy did love to be petted.  He was insatiable.  One time I counted strokes; when I got to four hundred, I gave up.  My hand was exhausted.  Taffy wanted more.  I didn't mind petting him.  His fur was very soft.  Even on the evening that he died, his fur was soft.

As he got older, Taffy developed health problems.  His thyroid went into overdrive and he lost weight no matter how much I persuaded him to eat.  Medication controlled the problem to some degree, but it meant a daily battle to force pills into him, a struggle that escalated when additional meds were needed.  Last year he went blind.  He regained some sight eventually, but seemed to lose the ability to use the litter box effectively.  At first he would try, standing in the box but urinating over the side.  After awhile, he'd just go in the general vicinity.  I started covering large areas with newspaper and trying every odor eradicating product I could find.

Veterinarian visits became frequent.  Taffy hated them.  He detested being stuck with needles to such an extent that he fought back against the vet, prompting a protocol of calling in an assistant wearing welder gloves every time Taffy needed blood tests.

Thursday before last, I took him to his final vet appointment.  Taffy had been lethargic for a few days, not eating much.   The vet gave me two options - emergency admission for intensive treatment that might buy him a few weeks or euthanasia.  I opted for a third.  I took him home to die.

On Tuesday, nearly a week ago, Taffy passed quietly in the night.  The vet had given me medication to use if he was in pain, but he never seemed to be in much distress.  He ate less and less every day, but continued to drink water almost to the last.  He lay on the floor in one of his favorite spots and slept.  On the last day, I petted him for awhile in the evening, then went to bed.  When I got up in the morning, he was already stiff, still laying in the same spot.  At peace.

The debate rages on

The debate on pricing in indie publishing, that is.

If you have a Kindle or Nook, or for that matter a Kobo, Sony, or iPad, and you read e-books at all, you’ve probably noticed the wide disparity in pricing. The price of a newly released e-book of a hardcover bestseller can be as high as $12.99 or more. On the other hand, there are plenty of $.99 e-books to be had, as well.

Mostly, those 99-centers are from indie, i.e. self-published, authors. Publishers have too much overhead to price their books that low. Amazon pays 70% royalty on e-books listed at $2.99 or more, but only 35% on those below that magic divide. Most of the time, you won’t find a traditionally published e-book much lower than $4.99. That seems a fair price to me, for a book that’s been professionally written and edited and that has professional cover art. There’s a certain sense of legitimacy in the traditionally published books: whereas I may not like the content, at least I’ll know that the product itself is pretty good.

As you know, I have a few traditionally published books out there. They’re released in mass market paperback for $7.99, which is a pretty standard price for a mass market paperback of 90,000 words. The electronic versions of those same books are also priced at $7.99. Same as the paperback. This also seems like an industry standard, and in polls, that $6.99-$7.99 price point is comfortable to a lot of people. Anything above that, and people start to complain that prices are too high.

So that’s the traditional e-books. In indie publishing, there’s no real standard. We’re all just trying to figure out what works. And we all seem to have different ideas. There are people like John Locke, who’s making a ton of money selling all his books at $.99 each. He has lots of titles that people can choose from, and that probably has something to do with it. When you have a lot of inventory, you’ll make more money than if you have just a little, regardless of price.

Some people, like golden girl Amanda Hocking and e-publishing guru Joe Konrath, as well as our own Stiffs buddies C.J. Lyons and L.J. Sellers, take a more staggered approach. They offer some of their books as $.99 titles to entice people to try them out, and then the rest of the books are priced at $2.99 or higher. Those $.99 titles are sometimes called ‘loss leaders,’ because you know darned well you’re going to lose money on them, but you hope you make up for it in volume and in sales of your other books. Some authors switch their $.99 titles out regularly, while others keep the first book in a series, for example, at a steady $.99 to get readers to try the series.

On the other hand, you have Michael Sullivan, another bestselling indie author of fantasy novels. His books are priced at $4.99-$6.99 – a deliberate choice on his (or his publicist’s) part, to align him with traditionally published authors and get away from the indie/self-published stigma. It seems to have worked: Michael sells more than 10,000 e-books per month, and when he tried to drop his prices, sales dropped, too.

Some of it comes down to perception of value. Some readers think they’ll get a more professionally written and presented product if the book is traditionally published – or if it appears to be. Some readers don’t care about professional; all they care about is price. Some authors have it as their main goal to sell lots of copies while some would rather sell less copies for more money instead of more copies for less. Some feel that the book they spent six months or a year on, is worth more than $.99. Others – and I quote Konrath here, as well as Bob Mayer – say that value has nothing to do with the cover price; value is about how much money the book makes for the author.

And then there’s the question of the devaluation of the book as a whole. Perpetuating the idea that books should only cost $.99. Setting the bar so low that there’s nowhere to go – except free – if you want to run a promotion, and so low that the public’s perception of value is skewed forever.

I could go on, but I won’t. It’s a tough issue, with many facets and good points on either side of the argument. I have to confess to being on the perception of value side myself: I’ve priced my Cutthroat Business mysteries at $3.99. Half the price of my Berkley e-books. It seemed fair. I make more per copy than I do the traditionally published books, and they’re still priced below that magical $5 mental mark, where everything supposedly is an impulse buy. They’re selling, but not like hotcakes. Then again, this stuff takes time.

I’d love to hear what you think. Is $.99 the sweet spot for lots of sales? Or is $2.99? Is anything below $5 really an impulse buy? (It isn’t for me.) Is Michael Sullivan selling so well because his books look like a bargain compared to the traditionally published fantasy books he’s aligned himself with? Or doesn’t price have a lot to do with it when it comes right down to the nitty-gritty, in your opinion?

Inquiring minds want to know.

PS – Hot Property, the sequel to A Cutthroat Business, is available for Kindle and Nook. If you’d like a free digital review copy, email me and I’ll tell you how to get one. If you do get a review copy, I’d appreciate it if you’d actually get around to writing a review at some point. Unless you absolutely hate the book, of course. Then you can feel free to keep your opinion to yourself.

Till next time!

How Does Your Garden Grow?

By Paula Matter


I’m good at three things and one of them is illegal in 27 states.* So that leaves me with: 1) giving excellent customer service and 2) making people laugh. That second one is still out for a vote by the people who don’t get me. Or maybe the ones who do are simply used to me. Oh, and I can whip up really good White Russians and Creamsicles. (Dammit, Word, that is so how you spell creamsicle. I am not changing it.)


When I want to improve on areas in which I suck, I seek help from the experts.

Since early April I’ve been planning and designing my landscaping. I do this every year, and each year I become a little better. Better at knowing what to plant where and when, better at identifying plants, better at removing what isn’t working. But I’m still not good enough on my own. Time to go to the professionals.

I start by poring over Internet sites where I look at before and after photos. I drool over gardens, decks and patios, Rate My Space. I create a list of the kinds of plants, flowers, shrubs I like.

I walk drive around my neighborhood looking at front yards for ideas. Some are gorgeous gardens, others are plain, and then there are the ones that have too much. Too many plants/shrubs/trees/accessories. I know exactly what to do if it were my yard. That sixth gnome you got there? Pluck. And his little brother and sister, too. Trim that shrub, pull up those weeds, mulch that side. Huh. Funny how I know what to do to fix other people’s yards. (You writers out there know where this is going, don’t you?)

I spent a couple of hours Tuesday morning at my favorite nursery going over my list. Judy, the wonderful gardening expert, told me to bring in more photos of my yard, said I had good taste, and that we’d come up with a good plan. She also told me that I knew more than I thought I did. I’m looking forward to having a nice garden for a change. I’m eager to get digging and planting. A lot of hard work is ahead, and I’m excited.

Gardening, for me, is much like writing. I want to be better at both. I know that I improve the more I garden. I’m told I’m better that I think I am. I know what needs to be pulled out. I know what needs to go in. I ask the right people for help.

On good writing days, I even remember some of this. On bad writing days, I want to go out to the garden and eat worms. Which I have learned are good for gardens.

I’ll be taking before and after garden photos of my progress. Maybe it’ll help keep up my current level of confidence. When I need proof that I’m capable of gardening, I’ll look at the photos.

And when I lose confidence in my writing ability, I’ll look at one of the anthologies I’m in as proof that I can do that, too.

*I made up that number. . . I’ve no idea if it’s still illegal anywhere.

Word Count Woes

by Annette Dashofy

In recent weeks, I’ve become more and more aware of daily word/page counts. Specifically, those of my fellow writers versus my own.

At the Pennwriters Conference, Jonathan Maberry was pressing to meet a Monday morning deadline. He kept updating us on his progress. The man’s productivity is staggering. I’m in awe.

Ramona has a group over on Facebook called How Many Pages Have You Written Today? We boast our accomplishments, cheer each other on. And we can see who’s pumping out large quantities of prose and who’s struggling with each and every word.

Which has started me wondering. Why do some of us whip out 2,500 (or more!) words a day and other celebrate when we manage 500 or 1,000?

Being a more regular member of the latter group, I can count off myriad excuses. Hubby needing fed. Both of us needing clean clothes. Killer dust bunnies taking over the house. (Okay, if you’ve been to my house, you can stop laughing. I do on rare occasions clean.) Mom’s doctors’ appointments. Yoga class. Et cetera, et cetera.

But there are hundreds of productive writers out there, who have family obligations and FULL TIME jobs, who still outpace me. Even when I have an entire day (or two) to write, I rarely seem to put up huge numbers. I have. But not usually.

So I’ve come up with a new excuse…er…reason for it, and I wanted to test it out on you kind folks.

Here it is: I write mysteries.

And as such, my fiction has to be truer than reality. Who was it who said, “The difference between reality and fiction is that fiction has to make sense”?

Also, can the question mark come after the quotation marks in the previous sentence, or must it be inside them? Stuff like that stops me cold and sends me running for my books on style and grammar.

Just like the situations I create in my fiction send me running to my resources in search of authenticity. Would a police officer really react the way I’m imagining? Can a paramedic legally respond that way at a crime scene?

I can’t just imagine it and write it. I have to make sure every scene is correct.

Plus, since I’m writing mysteries, I’m creating puzzles. With clues that must be fairly and discretely tucked into the story. I spend a lot of my “writing time” thinking about the plot. Who did what and why? In all fairness, I spend a lot of NON writing time doing this, too. Doing laundry is prime time for sorting out glitches.

So I want to pose a question to all the writers out there. Do you think writing mysteries is a slower process than…say science fiction or fantasy where the author determines what’s accurate for their own particular world? Or romance where the author’s heart leads the story. (Yes, I know there is research to be done in other genres, too.)

And if you are an especially prolific mystery (or other genre) writer, please brag about your numbers here. I’ll try to keep my weeping to a minimum. 

Mysteries and Morals

by guest blogger Kaye George

I had a conversation with a bookstore manager on Thursday about, well, books. But mostly about stocking mine. Her store is mainly a religious book store, with rosaries, wall plaques, jewelry, and lots of spiritual books, which I hadn't initially realized. (Viva Bookstore in San Antonio--if you're anywhere near there, it's a fascinating place with a tea shop and art gallery)

She's interested in marketing a new anthology I have a story in, FISH TALES: THE GUPPY ANTHOLOGY, because the authors are mostly women (all but 2 of the 22), and because our group, the Guppies, is a women's group. Guppies, if you don't know, is an online Sisters in Crime chapter that is for unpublished writers supporting each other.

Her shop, Viva, tries to be of service to the community by fostering empowerment groups, mostly for women. Two such groups at her shop are a book club for readers, and a writing group!

She's pleased that our bunch of women has achieved success in the field of writing, especially when I pointed out that 8 (or 9? I forget) of the writers in that anthology have never had any fiction published before. The good news for the antho writers is that she wants to carry the book and even to sponsor a reading and signing in the fall.

BUT, she asked me to think about what tie ins the book has to spirituality. That's a tough one.

The stories vary widely. Some are gritty and noir. Some are cozy. Some in between, just good mystery stories. One quotes the hymn, Amazing Grace, and two of the writers are pastors in their own religions. But that doesn't tie all the stories to her theme.

Here's what I'm thinking: Morality. Mysteries are moral. We create a world where justice is done. Bad behavior is found out and punished and good behavior is rewarded. At the end of a mystery story, the reader should be satisfied that evil was overcome and the world (in the story) will now be a better, safer place.

Since evil doesn't always get punished, or even caught, on the real planet, this better world is a nice place to visit. Oh sure, you can find mysteries where the bad guy gets away with it, but in general, justice prevails. Maybe providing a glimpse of the way things ought to be is almost spiritual. Maybe.

Kaye George, an Agatha nominated short story writer, is the author of CHOKE: An Imogene Duckworthy Mystery (Mainly Murder Press), as well as A PATCHWORK OF STORIES, a collection of her previously published stories, and THE BAVARIAN KRISP CAPER, available at Untreed Reads. FISH TALES: The Guppy Anthology contains her story, "The Truck Contest". She reviews for "Suspense Magazine", and writes for several newsletters and blogs. She, her husband, and a rescued feral cat named Agamemnon live together in Texas, near Austin.

Homepage: http://kayegeorge.com/

Blogs: http://travelswithkaye.blogspot.com/, her solo blog, and http://allthingswriting.blogspot.com/.

Interviewing a NYT Best-Selling Author with 3 Pen Names

By Pat Remick

Lorraine Bartlett is a very busy woman.

She writes three mystery series, including the Booktown Mystery Series that generated a prestigious Agatha Award nomination and put her on the New York Times bestsellers list.

When she's not working on the various series, posting her "Dazed and Confused" blog or appearing at the Cozy Chicks blog, she's busy promoting the books she pens under three names:

Her own, which appears on the cover of "A Crafty Killing," the first in her new Victoria Square series centering on a quaint shopping area that is  home to Artisans Alley, a collection of booths for artisans and craft sellers and figures in a murder (of course!);

As Lorna Barrett, writing the New York Times bestselling "Booktown Mystery Series" revolving around Tricia Miles, owner of Stoneham, NH's mystery bookstore Haven't Got a Clue, and whose fifth book in the series "Sentenced to Death" will be released June 7; and as

LL Bartlett, creater of the grittier Jeff Resnick suspense and slightly paranormal series featuring a former insurance investigator solving crimes in Buffalo, NY.

Recently she found some time time to answer a few questions for Workingstiffs readers:
What's the best thing about having so many pen names?

NOTHING.

The worst?
Your readers can't find you. If they don't check your web site or social networking, or look you up on Worldcat, there's no way for them to find out you write more than one series, or in a different genre or subgenre. I'm not just a one-trick pony--I write more than one thing, and despite more than two years of trying to get the word out, Lorna Barrett's Booktown Mystery readers have not found Lorraine Bartlett's Victoria Square series or L.L. Bartlett's Jeff Resnick books.

If you had it to do over again, would have multiple pen names?
No. But when the publisher asks you to take a pen name, you have no choice. My (then) agent strongly suggested I hide my gender behind initials because she felt men wouldn't read a book written by a woman. She was correct.

What most surprises you about this writing life -- and being a New York Times bestselling author?

That life really didn't change at all. I still have to do the laundry and there are so many other NYTimes bestselling authors that you're just a face in the crowd. But it does look nice on my book covers.

What is the best writing advice you've received?

Stop reading "writing how-to" books and going to writing classes. Sit down in front of your keyboard and write, Write, WRITE. And then rewrite, Rewrite, REWRITE.

What is the best writing advice you would give someone else? (or What is it you wish someone had told you about being a writer?)
See above.

What question do you wish I'd asked you?
To talk about my various series and how they are different--or alike. I'll go ahead and answer that one, if I may.

The common denominator in my work is that all my stories are character driven, and I hope have heart. The characters may come to loggerheads, but in the end they're there for each other. In my Jeff Resnick series, it's the brothers (Jeff and Richard--who come from different backgrounds) who are there for each other. In the Booktown Mysteries, it's sisters Tricia and Angelica Miles. In the Victoria Square Mysteries Katie depends on her friends--and they depend on her.

The Booktown and Victoria Square mysteries are cozy, but the Jeff Resnick Mysteries are psychological suspense with a paranormal thread. (No vampires, no zombies, no werewolves. Jeff was viciously mugged and since that day is a tad psychic. While his insight might give him clues, his experience as an insurance investigator helps him solve crimes.)

I hope readers will seek out my websites (www.LornaBarrett.com/ http://www.lorrainebartlett.com/ / http://www.llbartlett.com/) and my blog, Dazed and Confused: http://www.lornabarrett.blogspot.com/

Thanks Lorraine/Lorna/LL for stopping by today!

Recreating the Crime?

by C.L. Phillips

Nova on PBS recently examined the many mysteries of Stonehenge.  You know, the big rock thing in England.  I was fascinated by a minor part of the story.

A 70 mm round ball.  Actually a set of different balls, each ornate and beautiful with only one common attribute - diameter.  Were they Christmas tree ornaments?  Large marbles?  Dinosaur toys?

At the risk of ruining the story, let me say *spoiler alert*.  Watch the show if you don't want to know the ending right now.



The round balls were early ball bearings, created between 3000 and 2500 B.C.  These little round balls were the secret to moving the huge stones one hundred and fifty miles from the rock quarry in Pembrokeshire, Wales to their final resting place at Stonehenge, England.  Don't ask me why they have beautiful patterns hand-carved into the stone.  Or why it took archeologists until 2010 to discover their true use.  Make that alleged true use.

Since we don't have any eyewitness accounts from that time, archeologists are speculating.

Why am I so engrossed by these stone balls?  Because they represent the ultimate mystery clue.  Hiding in plane sight, examined by every researcher for probably two hundred years, they provide a plausible theory as to how the stones at Stonehenge came to be.  As a mystery novelist, I dream of creating compelling clues like this.

My question to you - what is your ball bearing?  What have you hidden in plain sight, only to have your readers discover in the denouement, and shriek, "of course!"

Go ahead, spill some secrets.  You know you want to.  

And for those of you in the United States, as you reflect on Memorial Day, send a kind word or thought to our service men and women, our emergency first responders, and the families across the Midwest and South struggling to recover from the recent storms.  Our thoughts are with you.

Writers helping writers at Pitch University

by C.L. Phillips

One of the things I love about the writing community is writers helping writers.  Diane Holmes is one of those rare people, following her passion, dedicated to helping writers connect with agents, editors and readers.  This year she founded Pitch University, and was kind enough to consent to an interview.  So, here goes - questions, and answers from Diane.

What is Pitch University?

Pitch University is the only website on the Internet where authors and novelists learn how to verbally pitch their book, to literary agents, editors, and ultimately readers.  This includes online PitchFests! And it's absolutely free.

But more than that, we take a broader view of pitching and look at all the surrounding sales issues before, during, and especially after publication, whether your traditionally or Indie pubbed.  Our guests include literary publicists, freelance editors, marketing experts, authors, and dozens of related fields.

Why do writers need Pitch University?

Boy, do we writers need Pitch U.  We need a place to learn from experts who  pitch for a living, and we need a place to practice and get feedback from pitching our own books.  

It's not enough to look at examples of good pitches and think the examples will help us with our own pitches.  And it's not enough to have another writer share a format or craft-of-writing technique that "creates" a pitch.  Just because you've filled in the blanks doesn't mean you've done your book any grand service.

Frankly, most of us suck at pitching our books.  There are two main skills in pitching.  The first is figuring out what the pitch focus should be, so that it's accurate and compelling.  The second is stepping forward and talking with another human being and sharing that pitch.  We pretty much suck at both.  Everyone reading this knows that I'm talking about.  :)

We just can't seem to verbally answer the simple question, "What's your book about?" in a way that shares our excitement, quickly communicates the key details, and motivates agents, editors, or readers to say, "Yes!  I want it!"

And yet, we absolutely know this is important to the success of our careers.  We even force ourselves to sign-up for pitch sessions at conferences, even though we're pretty much terrified.

So, is it possible to go from terrified and sucky to comfortable, at-ease, and dynamic.  That's the tribe of writers we're creating at Pitch U.

How do you suggest a writer/author use Pitch University to get the most from their efforts?

Pitch University is a fairly massive site, even though we've only been around since January 1st, 2011.  But we've worked hard to create a usable format so you can get to all our content and not be too overwhelmed.

If you're new to the site, take a moment to check out each of the following features, and you'll have a good feel for everything we offer.

Pitch U BLOG - This is the workhorse of the site. All new content is posted here in blog format, which means you scroll down to see past content.  Also, you'll see the big red box where you can sign-up for our newsletter, The Monthly Pitch. There's more fresh content, schedule updates, and even early entrants into our PitchFests. (Look to the right-hand column to sign up to have each post sent directly to your email.) 

Main Overview - This "mission control" page will give you an overview of current content by category.    Of special note is the official Pitch U Calendar.

Pitch U Learn! - There are 4 pop-down sub-menus to our LEARN tab, including Pitching Education.  Once you click on one of the 4 sub-menus, you'll see widget box with the content further divided.  For example, the Pitching Education page has a tab called "Start Here," which was created just for newbies who don't know which articles/posts to read first. 

Pitch U Forums - This is a brand new feature, and we're so please with it.  Come post your pitch and query letter here, and get peer help.   We have to moderators (Taylor and Heather), who will also give some feedback.

We have only two rules in offering and receiving help:  (1) Be encouraging.   Education and improvement is easier if making mistakes is just part of the fun.  Seriously.  Lighten up.  Remember you're writing because you love it.  

(2)  There are way too many (frankly) odd rules about what how you're "allowed" to  create a pitch or query letter.  Our only rule is that you want your pitch and query to be effective.   It just makes no sense to teach that a pitch should be, say, 17 words long.  A pitch should be awesome.  That's the rule.  A pitch should make the listener want to say, "Yes!"    Yes = Effective.

Pitch U Case Studies - This is my personal passion!  

Have you ever seen someone take a kinda-sorta limping-along pitch and fix it?  What about a query letter or a 1-page synopsis?   Yeah, I hadn't either.  Somewhere along the path of founding Pitch U, I became adept at not only creating pitches/queries/synopses that worked... but also fixing those that didn't.  

I've posted 2 full case studies,  with 4 more in the works.  And, yes, they're completely, totally FREE.

What's coming up the rest of 2011 - any special activities you want to highlight?

We've got a whole lotta fun ahead.  We're busy gathering a panel of 6 agents and editors for our June PitchFest, where we'll focus on Romance and YA.  And then we also have a September PitchFest, which will focus on Non-Fic, Thrillers, YA, and a more!

We're always bringing in experts, publishing case studies, and finding ways to help writers practice pitching, learn about marketing, and participate more fully in their careers.

After being repeatedly asked if I offer consulting, I'm creating a consulting page with information about working directly with me to create pitches and queries that work.  

I truly believe in offering the great content, forums, PitchFests, and case studies at no cost to writers.  But if you find that you're still hitting a brick wall (and I've been there), I know that sometimes, you just need one-on-one help.   So big stuff coming up!

For fun, tell us your about your favorite latte - the coffee or the coffee shop, or what makes it perfect.

A  good writing friend (Laurie F.) came into possession of an espresso maker, and she asked, "Would you like it?"  One, "hell, yes" later, and I was in business.  And then, a Twitter Peep (Heather W.) appreciated my help with her pitch so much that she shipped me chocolate that oddly enough was probably the only gourmet chocolate I can eat.  

So, I've been working 80-hour weeks on Pitch U, fully fueled by friendship latte and thank-you chocolates, and that has to be my favorite type. ;)

Thank you Diane, for all that you do for the writing community - for your welcoming and giving spirit, and the expertise you so willingly share.  Be sure to check out www.pitch-university.com and report back.  We at Working Stiffs want to drool over your success.

Book Review : The Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson

by C.L. Phillips

We've had the conversation about my Kindle addiction, right?  Well, in my latest fit of "I've got to have this book, NOW", my fingers did the walking and purchased The Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson after watching his interview on Jon Stewart's Daily Show.  Damn that Jon Stewart.

The book is beyond compelling.  Why?  Ronson uses vignettes to tell the story.  He drew me in with a mystery of all things.  A mystery in a non fiction book.  It made me smile.  And throught the mystery he illustrated one of the main points in his book.

I'm not going to tell you what the mystery is, because I don't want to ruin the surprise for you.  Suffice to say I read the entire book in one sitting.  And it's non-fiction!  I never do that.

His book is compelling for another reason.  It gave me so much more to think about in terms of my villans and the other people my hero will be working against.  His story about Tony, the man who chose to feign mental illness rather than go to jail took me on a complete character arc.  I found myself rooting for Tony until the last moment when the hammer dropped.

The main point of the book is that with a simple test, you too can identify a psychopath.  And if you've worked in the corporate world, odds are you've seen more than one up close.  Jon's example is Al Dunlap from Sunbeam Corporation.  Mine shall remain unnamed, but let's just say he was easy to identify with the test.

Are there other non-fiction books you've used in this way?  Tell me more.  My fingers are itching to give Jeff Bezos more of my money.

p.s.  Jon Ronson captured my heart and soul last night, and interrupted my normal sleep so I'm up at 5:12 a.m. in the dark in Central Texas wondering how many psychopaths live within walking distance.  It's worse than zombies.

The Two Author Household

by Guest Blogger Sarah Glenn

Last year, my wife, Gwen Mayo, had her first novel published. This month, my first novel hit the stores. After years as wannabe writers, we have finally hit The Big Time... together.

There are some huge plusses to being a two-author household. The biggest advantage, I think, is an understanding of one another's plight. Neither of us thinks that the other is crazy for complaining about people who aren't real or falling into a blue funk (or language) over writer's block. I keep hearing about creative types getting divorced, though, so this blessing may be unique to us as a couple.

We are the first beta readers for one another's work. Once again, your mileage may vary. It helps if you have different strengths. Gwen writes wonderfully detailed, gritty mysteries. She's strong on plot, and she asks questions that help me get my own plots on track. My gifts run more along the lines of dialogue, commas, and correcting homophones. I'm also good for emergency reformatting at deadline.

This year, we're pooling our talents in promotion. Gwen's better with money and print media, while I'm better with online stuff. I set up our websites and started promoting us on Twitter and Yahoo lists. I ventured into Second Life, where we're meeting other writers and learning how to promote books in a virtual world. Gwen creates bookmarks and posters for our novels, flyers and invitations for our events, and buys advertising. When it comes time for book signings, we share the burden: one of us handles the money while the other one presses the flesh.

That's the good part. Then, there are the disadvantages. When we're both on deadline, we can't always beta read each other’s guest blogs. Deadlines also make both of us testy, never good for marital amity.

The biggest downside we've found so far, though, is touring in two different genres. Gwen's novel is historical mystery, mine is vampire comedy (yes, a true Working Stiff). I do write mysteries, but the vampire tale is the book I got published. Gotta roll with it.

Some conventions overlap. In June, we're both reading at the 7th Golden Crown Literary Society Conference, which is a lesbian fiction convention. We've got that one covered. We're also both speaking at the FandomFest Weekend in July.

Not so good: Bouchercon. No room for vampires there, but I'm tagging along anyway. It's not like the accommodations will be less expensive if I'm not there. Ironically, the one mystery promotion I'm doing is for Fish Tales: The Guppy Anthology, but Gwen's not in that collection.

Touring is also a huge money drain. We’re making our credit card company very happy right now. My advice: pay up front for as much as possible. Pay the credit card down every month. DON'T develop plumbing problems or car trouble.

One last problem involved in a double tour: our families. Traveling is chewing up our vacation hours big-time. We're making a special detour in June to see the Glenn Diaspora in Florida, but won't have any extra time available on the Fish Tales trip to visit the rest of my family in their home state (NC). I expect to be on the outs with most of my kin by Christmas.

It's a great ride, though. Even if we end up flat broke with no sales, there will never be another year like this one. Fortunately, we still have day jobs, so we are a two income household.

 

About Sarah Glenn: I have a B.S. in Journalism from the University of Kentucky. I’ve held a number of entirely unrelated jobs since that time: I worked as an art intern at the billboard company, as an NCIC operator for my local police department, and as a teaching assistant for medical terminology. I like to write mystery and horror stories, especially when they include a sidecar of funny. I am an active member of Sisters in Crime and Guppies.

All This and Family, Too is the story of a lesbian vampire who moves into a gated community and discovers the true meaning of horror. Will she survive the experience with the mixed blessing of a loving but dysfunctional family?

My novel is available on Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Kindle, and Nook.

Gwen's book can be found here.

SCRIVENERS OF THE SILVER SCREEN

  by Gina Sestak

No, this is not another post about the Pennwriters Conference.  Great as it was, that subject has been done to death.  I do want to mention one thing, though.  Last Saturday's keynote speaker, Jonathan Maberry, kept sneaking away to write tens of thousands of words to meet a midday Monday deadline.  How many of us could have managed to participate in the conference with that looming over our heads?  It seemed more like the kind of thing a writer would do in a movie than in real life.

That got me thinking about how writers are depicted on film.  Awhile back, I mentioned one of my favorite writing movies, Stranger than Fiction (2006).

Writer Karen Eiffel (Emma Thompson)  spends her time working out her plot and putting it into words, much to the dismay of her protagonist Harold Crick (Will Farrell).

Joan Wilder (Kathleen Turner) also came across as authentically as a novelist in Romancing the Stone (1984).

The scene in which she is scrounging her apartment for a tissue is priceless.  I don't know about you, but that certainly looks a lot like my writing life.  For those who haven't seen the film, the heroine finds herself thrust into a real-life adventure like the ones she writes about - complete with a romantic hero (Michael Douglas) - when she has to go to South America to rescue her kidnapped sister.

Romance novelist Mary Fisher (Meryl Streep), on the other hand, lives in a mansion on a hill.  She-Devil (1989) pits her against Ruth Patchett (Roseanne Barr), an average housewife, in a battle for Ruth's husband Bob (Ed Begley, Jr.) and romance meets reality when his kids come to stay.

Not all writers on screen are female, of course.  Norman (Craig Sheffer)'s autobiographical A River Runs Through It (1992) tells the story of two young men growing up in Montana.

Perhaps my all-time favorite writer on screen is Mary Call (Julie Gholson), whose beautifully written narration powers Where The Lilies Bloom (1974), the story of a girl's struggle to conceal the death of her father.

Unfortunately, youtube doesn't have a trailer for it.

How about you?  Who's your favorite writer on screen?

Scared Stiff of Promoting

by Patricia Gulley

NO SHAME, that's the keyword. 

A recent blog by an author who hates the whole promotion thing, made me start thinking again. I know, dangerous, but what else are we humans good for? I've been around marketing all my working life, so having to do it seems second nature. Doesn't mean I can make it work. All the advice given is correct and effective; it will work a little bit or a lot, but don't count on any of it being a major success without a bit of luck. Sad, I know, because that means you have to work at it, work at it, spend more money on it, work at it, stop all together and try to write more, go back to working on it, spend more money, work….. Sorry, but that seems to be the way it works. Even if you have a top publisher that does a lot of promotion for you, the author still has to put herself out there and do a lot of things she doesn’t want to do, is afraid to do and embarrassed to do. “Mom said I shouldn’t act that way!!!” 

Marketing is the one place you cannot be a good girl, do the right thing and be rewarded. So, try to remove that bit of proper behavior from you mind. The modern author has to put aside centuries of belief that the author only has to write the book and all promotion is done by the publisher. Shameless hussy-ing is the best bet now with a grain of good manners retained. What is scary and hated is standing out there bragging about one’s self and telling people what to do (read: part with their money) and not feeling ashamed of themselves. Let’s face it, no matter how nice and polite, sweet toned and unassuming we try to be. It is getting in people’s faces, badgering and accosting them, and there’s that nasty feeling that we are letting mom down. Few of us have been raised to do anything like this, yet we must find a way to do it.

Deep breathing, arm extensions and chanting before an event might help if you are hidden behind a curtain prior to your introduction, but even if you are sitting out in open view of everyone you came to talk to, rehearsing what you intend to say is a very good way to calm nerves. You really can do it like chanting. Actors have a speed reading thing they do with each other before a performance that helps them with their memorization and (they claim) their nerves. If it is a reading, start with who you are, what you wrote and a brief reason for writing it. (A second book in a series is good enough.) Maybe if you are feeling good at that point, a bit about your protagonist. Some of these talks are timed, so establishing and keeping on file 1, 2 and 5 minute speeches is a good thing. Pre-published authors are told to prepare their blurbs, log-lines and elevator speeches and know them by heart; well this is what you change to afterwards. However, most readings are 15 minutes, so practicing reading the part of your book that you intend to read from is very important. You can’t wing it. Read in front of a mirror, speaking out loud and time it. Watch your body language and listen to yourself. I prefer to explain how the book starts, read from the first good action section, maybe explain some of what is going on next and leap to another action section and most definitely conclude with a chapter or pages that ends with one of your best cliff hangers. A bow, a sincere thank-you and you are done.

Believe me, only practicing at home but not before you go on will leave you with the jitters. Practice and stay focused on that practicing before your turn comes keeps your mind off the fear. It works the same way with panels. The moderator talks to you about the topic before hand (hopefully by email), there is a practice session the day of (or there should be) and it allows you to come face to face with each other and find out a bit about each other. You will be surprised how much knowing something about each other helps. 

Let’s face it, a billion words has been written on the subject of what to do; the problem is how to over come those terrors that anyone without a natural pension for facing people and talking their head off might suffer. Try not to think of promoting as cold-call selling (standing in a mall grabbing passer-bys’ arms and trying to interest them in your book) very few people can do it and you have to have the personality of a telemarketer to succeed at it any time during your career. Find places where the buyer comes to you: conventions, book fairs, library or store readings. Single bookstore signings for newbies is hard on the author and the store unless the author has a multitude of friends and family in town who can be seriously threatened with bodily harm if they don’t show up. I like group signings however the fear of no one getting in your line is a problem. So what to do if the author next to you has lines out the door and no one even looks at you? Shameless Hussing!! Offer to take pictures of these fans with the popular author (fans always want to do that) and laugh and talk, say nice things about the other author, joke a little. Okay, maybe they won’t grab one of your books and buy it, but they will look over, note your name and pick up a bookmark, postcard or favor, IF YOU REMEMBERED TO PUT THEM OUT, and that’s the start of recognition. Ya gotta start somewhere. 

Go forth authors, and promote, promote, promote.

The end.

More Pennwriters Memories

by Annette Dashofy

My dear friend Paula Matter sent me an SOS yesterday, asking me to fill her blogging slot for today. With it being last minute, I decided to simply dig into more of my photos from the Pennwriters Conference. Today's selection has a theme: Socializing. Schmoozing. Hanging with friends. Whatever you call it, there was a lot of it going on.

 In the Hospitality Suite Friday, Nancy Martin sits and chats with Catherine McLean and Ramona Long.

At Friday's keynote dinner, Pittsburgh area Pennwriters Stephanie Claypool, Cheryl Williams, and Carol Moessinger catch up.
                                   
                                       
 And Lee Ann Dawson, Candace Banks, Working Stiffs' Martha Reed get better acquainted.

The networking continued at Saturday's lunch.

Heidi Ruby Miller and Jason Jack Miller were two of the authors participating at the book signing.

CJ Lyons and Becky Levine took part in it as well.

Pennwriters President Carol Silvis and Sandi Hahn share drinks and a laugh at Saturday night's cocktail party.

 Fellow Working Stiff Joyce Tremel (on the right) chats with a new friend .

Two Davids: D.L. Wilson and Dave Freas.

Fred Connor, Don Jodon and Mercedes Goldcamp hang out at in the Hospitality Suite before Sunday's closing ceremonies.

Two Peggys and a Dave with a ton of tickets for the basket raffle.

So while the conference was a place to learn about craft and career, it was also a place to hang out with other writers, compare notes, and cheer successes. At Pennwriters, we're all family.

Pennwriters Conference Report

by Annette Dashofy

I've decided that past conference coordinators make the best...or at least happiest...conference attendees. We know how much work goes into putting one of these things on, so we appreciate every moment.

We're also thrilled beyond belief that we don't have to do it this time!

All the credit for the huge success of the 2011 Pennwriters Conference goes to Julie Long and Meredith Cohen. They did a fantastic job planning and running this event. BRAVO

And I thoroughly enjoyed every last minute of it. From the wonderful workshops (although a clone would have been nice, since I could only attend one at a time and there were sooo many choices!) to the delicious food (back to the treadmill for me) to the funny and inspirational keynotes, it was a weekend to remember. Plus, how fun to get to see all my Pennwriters friends!

Friday morning I attended the Perfect Pitch workshop with agent Rachel Vater Coyne. The room was packed. Fellow Working Stiff Joyce Tremel and I huddled in the back of the room and took notes. After sharing her suggestions on what makes a good pitch, Rachel opened the floor to anyone wanting to "practice." Her comments on what worked and what didn't were invaluable.

Next, Joyce and I assisted former Working Stiff Tamara Girardi in a hands-on "Twitter for Twits" workshop. (By the way, feel free to follow me on Twitter. I'm @Annette_Dashofy.)

Next came lunch. This was the first year I qualified for the Published Penns Retreat. What an honor to be included in the company of so many talented and successful writers and to listen in on a fascinating discussion of the publishing industry and the changes going on in it. Basically, the business is in such a state of transition, it probably changed three times during the course of the luncheon!

In the afternoon, I attended my friend Becky Levine's workshop on Growing a Critique Group. I picked up quite a few tidbits and ideas to share with my own critique groups.

Friday night is always a big one at the Pennwriters Conference and this one was no exception. The lovely and talented Jacquelyn Mitchard was our keynote speaker and shared a bit of her life story with us. What an inspiration.

Saturday, for me, was agents agents agents. First I attended "The Author-Agent Relationship with former Working Stiff and dear friend Nancy Martin.

That's fellow Pennwriter Stephanie Claypool introducing Nancy, by the way.

Next came "The Do's and Don'ts of Finding an Agent with agent Victoria Skurnick. After lunch, I attended the Agent Panel with all our visiting agents.

Lastly, there was the stand-up comic duo of C.J. Lyons and agent Barbara Poelle in "Welcome to the Jungle."

In the midst of all that, came one of the true highlights of the weekend. The Saturday lunch. First, Ayleen Stellhorn (2008 and 2010 Pennwriters Conference Coordinator) won the meritorious service award.

Then Jonathan Maberry presented an entertaining and uplifting luncheon keynote speech that drove the entire audience to their feet in applause.

After the workshops, there was a book signing event. Ramona Long and I didn't "officially" take part, but we held court at one of the tables and gleefully signed copies of Fish Tales for anyone who asked.

We might have mugged a few people walking by, too, if we happened to spot someone with the anthology tucked under their arm.

Later, I attended the cocktail party. By then everyone (including me) was on the verge of slipping into conference coma. But it was nice to schmooze a bit.

That's me with Jonathan.

Afterwards, our Sisters in Crime gang sneaked off to dinner and took Ramona Long and C.J. Lyons with us. It was a chance for a little bit of quieter conversation.

Sunday, I have to confess, I was done. And I wasn't alone. There were a lot of glassy eyes and slack jaws evident. I didn't even attempt to attend any more  workshops. I was brain dead. Fried. Jonathan Maberry's zombies had nothing on me. So I just hung out in the Hospitality Suite and networked AKA schmoozed until closing cermonies and the basket raffle.

Some people, like my friend Peggy Hauser, buy a LOT of tickets.

I didn't win the writer's retreat that I REALLY wanted. But I did win a more practical prize: a folding cart on wheels that was stuffed with books and office supplies.

If you missed this conference, make plans now to attend the 25th anniversary Pennwriters Conference next year in Lancaster. I know I'll be there!