by Joyce Tremel
Maybe I’ve just had a bad week, but I am so BORED. That’s BORED with ALL CAPS. As in I’d like to punch-hit-kick something BORED. As in if one more officer puts another citation in my bin I’m going to choke the life out of him BORED.
The reports so far this week have consisted of EMS assists, a couple of lost dogs, a lost bird, keys locked in cars, abandoned 911 calls (someone dials 911 by mistake), and car accidents. Oh, and a few mailbox vandalisms just to break things up a little. Whoopee.
You’d at least think someone would have been nice enough to give me something to blog about. I hoped something exciting would have happened in the last two weeks to give me something scintillating and informative to write about. People are just so inconsiderate.
Although the township residents are probably pleased that it’s so quiet, I can tell the guys here are restless. I’m sure that when they trained to be cops, they weren’t planning on taking calls from little old ladies with missing cats. They signed up to solve crime and catch the bad guys. And maybe, if they were lucky, to actually take their guns out of their holsters.
Right now, the most thrilling thing they have to look forward to is Shaler’s Homecoming on Saturday. (Homecoming is a BIG DEAL—ALL CAPS in Shaler. The parade rivals the Tournament of Roses). You’d think the Shaler Police were the Secret Service planning a presidential visit, the way they have the Homecoming detail set up. If terrorists decide to attack Shaler on Saturday, the guys are ready for them. Heaven forbid anything interfere with the big football game.
All this is why I write about crime. Real life cannot compare with all the sinister plots and schemes lurking in the corners of my mind.