Thursday, September 28, 2006


by Joyce Tremel

Maybe I’ve just had a bad week, but I am so BORED. That’s BORED with ALL CAPS. As in I’d like to punch-hit-kick something BORED. As in if one more officer puts another citation in my bin I’m going to choke the life out of him BORED.

The reports so far this week have consisted of EMS assists, a couple of lost dogs, a lost bird, keys locked in cars, abandoned 911 calls (someone dials 911 by mistake), and car accidents. Oh, and a few mailbox vandalisms just to break things up a little. Whoopee.

You’d at least think someone would have been nice enough to give me something to blog about. I hoped something exciting would have happened in the last two weeks to give me something scintillating and informative to write about. People are just so inconsiderate.

Although the township residents are probably pleased that it’s so quiet, I can tell the guys here are restless. I’m sure that when they trained to be cops, they weren’t planning on taking calls from little old ladies with missing cats. They signed up to solve crime and catch the bad guys. And maybe, if they were lucky, to actually take their guns out of their holsters.

Right now, the most thrilling thing they have to look forward to is Shaler’s Homecoming on Saturday. (Homecoming is a BIG DEAL—ALL CAPS in Shaler. The parade rivals the Tournament of Roses). You’d think the Shaler Police were the Secret Service planning a presidential visit, the way they have the Homecoming detail set up. If terrorists decide to attack Shaler on Saturday, the guys are ready for them. Heaven forbid anything interfere with the big football game.

All this is why I write about crime. Real life cannot compare with all the sinister plots and schemes lurking in the corners of my mind.


Pat Hart said...

I remember when I used to take my young sons to Sunday mass. It wouldn't be long until they would be draped across the kneelers like wet wash and I'd think:
"Hmmm...I guess that's what they mean by 'bone-crushing boredom.'"

Kristine said...

Being a graduate of Shaler H.S., I remember homecoming and being amazed at how much of a community event it was. For me, sitting at the football game was the worst kind of boredom, but to not be there was certainly shunned upon.

Ah, life in the suburbs.

Cathy said...

It's that kind of a ho-hum day. In fact, I am even cleaning house, a rare event. Although, there were times in my life that excitement was a scary, bad thing, so that I always try to be thankful for boring.

Judith said...

That does sound like a ho hum day. How about we send some of your cops to my area of town... nice, safe Sewickley where the biggest excitement the cops usually have is writing parking tickets for the big sum of $5. Whooohoo.

However, lately we have had so many robberies that I am actully sitting here in my own home with all the doors locked and the alarm on! Most people around here never lock their doors. My neighbor up the street had someone walk into her unlocked house (she doesn't know when) and steal her jewelry. Another neighbor came home at midnight to find a masked guy in his kitchen (wife and kids were upstairs sleeping and I think the doors were locked.) Other folks have had cars stolen after the house was broken into to get the keys.

It's a crime wave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Interesting enought, the papers arent' talking and neither are the police. What's with that????

I'm annoyed. If I wanted to keep my doors locked and alarm on I could be in NYC.

Joyce said...

Usually when there's a rash of burglaries like that, it's junkies. They'll take what they can grab quickly and sell for drug money.

mike said...

Judith--to your comment about no news re: robberies: having worked at small papers in both poor towns (Homestead) and well-to-do (Talbot County, Maryland) I can tell you that the police don't like to release crime info to the media if they don't have to, usually on the orders of the town "fathers" who don't want the community besmirched in the press and scare away businesses, shoppers, home buyers, etc. Reporters and editors have to be aggressive, but, unfortunately, in small communities they also have to live and work right next door to the people who pay for the advertising and buy the papers. Not a good mix for "all the crime that's fit to print," so to speak.

Nancy said...

I spent the weekend in the small town where I grew up, and let me tell you, the drug-related crime in that tiny hamlet is much, much scarier than anything here in the city. Drugged-up thieves are terrifying. I think you'd be safer in NYC, Judith!

Annette said...

My mom's house has been broken into twice over the years. Out here in Sleepyville USA! The last time was only about a year or so ago and the only thing they stole was her prescription eyeglasses. They found my Dad's ancient (and inoperable) handgun, but just tossed it under the bed. For a while we thought it had been stolen, too. But, no. Just Mom's glasses. What do you make of that??

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Annette: clearly, that was a junkie who needed to be better able to read the labels on the prescription drug bottles he was rattling...

It's boring here at West of Mars today, too. The only break-in has been my cat with IBD into the food that she's not allowed to eat.