Thursday, February 15, 2007

Cold Crime

by Joyce Tremel

No, this isn't about cold cases. We don't have many of those. As a matter of fact, I think we have only one--a hit and run where a pedestrian was killed while crossing Mt. Royal Blvd. after leaving a bar. We had a missing person's case a few years back that our intrepid Sgt. Vulakovich (now State Representative Vulakovich) worked on. A wife reported her husband missing. He was a cook at the homeless shelter on the North Side and she was sure that he'd met foul play. Randy left nothing undone in his investigation--the size of his case file is legendary. As it turned out though, the guy left voluntarily and covered his tracks very well. He never used his credit cards, SS number, or applied for another driver's license. Want to know how he was found? He was living in Arizona, still working as a chef. He was riding his bicycle one night and a cop stopped him because he was weaving. Yep. Caught for DUI. On a bike, no less. When the cop ran him through NCIC, he got the missing person hit and called our department.

Right now, there are no crime sprees to report. Everyone in Shaler is behaving themselves, for the most part. It’s been too damn cold to commit crimes. What self-respecting criminal wants to freeze their butt off stealing someone’s tires?

The only thing we’ve had in abundance lately (especially over the last few days) are motor vehicle accidents. People just won’t learn that you can’t drive over an icy patch at sixty miles an hour in a thirty mile per hour zone. Especially when your BAC is over a 0.2 (legal limit is 0.08). A couple of weeks ago we had a guy shear off not one—but two—telephone poles then roll his vehicle over. We've had three rollover accidents in the past three weeks.

So, if anyone is out and about in this weather, take it easy. Oh, and if you see a cop out there directing traffic, or otherwise freezing his ass off, take him a hot cup of coffee. Believe me, it will be appreciated.

8 comments:

Annette said...

I always enjoy reading about the stupid crooks who rob a house right after a fresh snowfall and the cops tracking his foot prints in the snow back to his own house.

Nancy said...

Okay, you brought up the cup of coffee issue. I used to take cold cokes to police who turned up in our neighborhood on a hot day, but one of them finally hinted that drinks aren't always appreciated because---well, at the risk of using the mixing the wrong euphemism---what goes down must go out, if you know what I mean.

Gina said...

I've been wondering whether car thefts go up in cold weather. You know, some shivering person is walking along with snow in his shoes and no gloves on his hands, and all the sudden he sees an unattended car, key in the ignition, motor running, its owner preoccupied with shoveling the walk. The temptation might be too much to resist.

Joyce said...

Annette, that happens a lot. Thank goodness most criminals are dumb.

Nancy, around here the guys will check on each other if they're stuck working a detail outside for a extended period, in case one of them needs to use the bathroom.

Gina, I don't think car thefts go up, but people locking their keys in their car with it running goes way up! We're one of the very few departments that still unlock cars.

Tory said...

Joyce, did the guy who sheered off the two telephone poles and rolled over live to tell about it?

Joyce said...

Tory, he's in AGH and still alive last I heard.

kathie said...

Hi Joyce--let me guess the hit and run victim got clipped coming out of "the lounge" by foodland or "the inn" one that sits in that basin between Etna and Glenshaw???? I guess that's Etna. That's sad. BTW we lived one house away from Randy--we were on Scott. It's funny to imagine him in politics!

Joyce said...

Kathie, it was Fodi's Bar--down by all the gas stations.
I want to see Randy duke it out with the Gov.