Monday, March 19, 2007

In the Limo

by Nancy Martin

My husband made me a sandwich on Saturday.

Ordinarily, this is world news--right up there with Britney going into rehab and Cate Blachette playing Indiana Jones's next squeeze. Normally, a husband-produced sandwich would be a knock-me-over-with-a-feather development at my house.

But I've gotten accustomed to people taking care of me.

See, I've been on a book tour to promote the newest Blackbird Sister release, A CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED DEATH.

For a week, I was flown around the country, chauffeured to luxury hotels, signed my autograph a few hundred times, been given gifts by booksellers. I've eaten room service for a week, flown first class, let others carry my luggage, done my makeup in television green rooms. I stayed in a suite next to Justin Timberlake and his entourage. (They ordered a lot of bottled water from room service. Not exactly rock star behavior, huh?) Desk clerks say, "Ms. Martin? Would you like a glass of wine while I locate the fax from your publicist?"

Yeah, it was a taste of the good life.

Mind you, it was also some of the hardest work I've done in a long time. Accustomed to sitting at my desk for hours--sometimes days--alone with my characters and my story outline, it's a stretch for me to be "on" for a week. I tried to be gracious to readers and booksellers and hotel employees. I tried to engage complete strangers in meaningful conversations. I needed to speak intelligently about books with writers. Be scintillating with a talk show host. I had to make my life sound interesting (!!) to people who are skeptical. Sometimes I "worked a room" until 11pm, then crashed into luxury linens only to get a wakeup call at 5am so I could catch another plane or get to a cable television station in the boondocks.

The most sinful part of a book tour has to be the media escorts. They're often retired TV news readers who are now stay-at-home moms who hanker to do some part-time work. Their job is to make an author feel like a celebrity. They have immaculate vehicles and know the short routes to radio and telvision stations--even the safest places to stash a car for a few minutes without getting a ticket. They drop me at the bookstore door instead of forcing me to walk 20 feet from a parking space. They keep me on schedule to the minute. They keep a cache of bottled water and granola bars in case I get a pang, but they don't let me hit the loo if we're running late to a signing. When I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, they bring me cold drinks, lend me their eyeliner pencil or fetch whatever my heart desires.

And I could get used to it.

So when my husband offered to make me a sandwich on Saturday, I didn't say, "Oh, no, let me make one for you instead," which would have been my usual reply. I let him do it for me.

I wonder how long it will last?


Annette said...

Don't get too used to it, Nancy. You're back in the real world now. But do enjoy it while it lasts. And congrats on the sales numbers!

nancy said...

The real world, huh? Damn! Thanks, Annette.

Joyce said...

Welcome back to the real world, Nancy!

Btw, if my husband made me a sandwich, I think I'd be afraid to eat it. I don't let him anywhere near the kitchen.

Judy Schneider said...

Nancy, you are living the life writers dream of -- even if it does last only a few short days. Congratulations!

If my husband made me a sandwich, I'd have to get up anyway to put away the provolone.

Cathy said...

Wow! Sounds like an exciting trip. I'm exhausted just reading about it. Glad you survived it all and enjoyed it, too.

Nancy said...

Judy---Of course I did the dishes! That goes without saying, right?

Did I mention that when I returned from my weeklong trip, the loaf of bread I left on the kitchen counter was IN EXACTLY THE SAME PLACE except covered in green mold?

Tory said...

That's the difference between husbands and cats. Husbands do something nice for you once in a blue moon. Cats, on the other hand . . .

Gina said...

Right, Tory. Cats are all sweet and soft and purry, then one day you walk into a room and they give you a look as if they've never seen a human being before, a look that says, "What is that thing?" I guess I missed the boat on husbands - my ex- liked to cook and made pretty decent sandwiches, not to mention great curried lentils and such. But then we never had a traditional relationship ...
Anyway, the book tour sounds great, Nancy. It must be a real thrill to have so many people like what you've written.

Nig said...

it's good to have dream.But some times the dream becames real.
if you want to make it real,you can see how to make it at

Limousine said...

You are lucky :)
if our husbends offer us sandwich, woman should enjoy with this situation.

Limousine hire said...

some times i like to dream too.i
wished i would have a hasband who makes for me a sandwich.

Limo said...

Dream xa, people dont dream!!!!
Because till you dream life is passing! i advice you to live reality and everything will be good!