by Annette Dashofy
A few weeks ago while away on vacation, my hubby and I had an interesting conversation over dinner. We talked about crime. Doesn’t everyone discuss crime while vacationing?
In particular we were talking about ways of defending yourself. Or myself as the case may be. Hubby was surprised at how many tricks I knew, considering I’ve never taken one of those self-defense classes. I’ve become aware that my hubby is clueless about the things that go through a woman’s mind. He seemed amazed that I had given any thought to it, never mind that I carry my keys in such a way as to turn them into a weapon were I to be jumped while walking to my car.
I became aware of this cluelessness a few years ago when he called his sister’s house and asked his young niece if her mom or dad was home without identifying himself. She responded that they were home, but couldn’t come to the phone. An appropriate response, right? Never let a stranger know you’re home alone. Hubby continued to harass the girl demanding to know why she couldn’t produce one of her parents to talk on the phone. But he steadfastly refused to tell her who it was. She should know, was his defense when I scolded him about giving the girl a rough time. He also felt, if they weren’t home, she should say so.
Agh! My parents always preached to me to never let on that I was alone. Even now, if someone calls for my hubby while he’s at work, I’ll simply say he can’t come to the phone right now and may I take a message. It’s been ingrained in my psyche.
This leads me to wonder if all men think differently about these things than women? Do parents lecture their sons about the perils of the world? Or are boys believed to be invincible and able to fend off attackers? Is this a wide spread phenomenon or is it limited to my no-one-would-mess-with-me husband?
Women are taught to automatically survey their surroundings, to take note of who is close by and who might be following. Women are taught to leave hitchhikers alone and not offer rides to strangers. Aren’t we?
My hubby never notices other people in dark parking lots. He once gave a ride to a total stranger who seemed to me to be acting suspiciously. “I’ll be fine. He can’t hurt me,” hubby assured me.
Tell me, folks, is my suspicious nature a result of an overactive crime-writer’s imagination? Or do all women distrust strangers? Am I the only one who thinks about things like the best parts of a man’s anatomy to strike at if they threaten me? And is my hubby the only man out there who believes he is indestructible?