Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Turkey Wednesday

by Annette Dashofy

I desperately need to update my will and make sure my life insurance is paid. I fear my life may be in danger. I am marching into battle with a mass of humanity who has no compassion for my needs or my safety. I will be in peril of being trampled, assaulted, and maimed.

You see, later today, I will be heading to the grocery store on this day before Thanksgiving.

Little is written of this horrible crush of shoppers as “black Friday” tends to overshadow “turkey Wednesday.” However, I have no intention of going near a store on Friday, so that causes me little concern. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t be caught dead near the Giant Eagle today, either, but due to the craziness of the week just past and a bit of short-sightedness on my part, I failed to pick up the ingredients for my contribution to the family dinner. And while there will be plenty of food there, as a vegetarian, I have fewer options to chose from. So I’d better make sure I take a filling dish that’s safe for me to eat or I may be stuck with cookies.

Hmm. Cookies may not be so bad.

But, no, I will shake off my trepidation, take a deep breath, and plunge into the hordes of impatient, harried (and hurried) shoppers.

At least I can avoid the turkey aisle. You need a police escort to approach THAT refrigerator case!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!


Anonymous said...

I went shopping on Saturday and it was amazingly calm. I wondered if many people had already left for the holiday?

Have you tried that Tofurkey, Annette? What do you think?

Annette said...

Tory, I had Tofurkey a couple years ago and didn't like it much. Perhaps because I was the only one who ate it and therefore I had leftovers. LOTS of leftovers.

However, Tofurkey also makes deli slices for sandwiches that I really like.

Anonymous said...

Honest to goodness--now I can say I know someone who actually ate tofurkey! Thanks, Annette. I'd always wondered if that wasn't some sort of urban legend.

I'm trying out a new recipe tomorrow--it's a baked dish from the NY Times, and calls for 2 lbs of cubed cornbread, rapini, 8 eggs, half and half, two cheeses, garlic, calamata olives, etc., etc. Definitely a once-a-year indulgence. Good luck shopping, Annette.

Annette said...

Oooo, Mike, that sounds incredibly decadent and perfect for the one day of the year when we can eat all we want without guilt. (Yeah, right)

Yes, I can vouch for it. Tofurkey does exist. And, no, it does NOT taste like real turkey.

Joyce Tremel said...

I made the mistake of going to Giant Eagle on Sunday afternoon. Wall to wall people. What really gets me are the people who stop with their carts IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AISLE and you can't get past them. One of these days there's going to be a homicide there and I'd consider it justifiable!

Another thing that bugs me are the women who leave their purses sitting in their carts. All you have to do is turn your back for a second and some junkie has your purse or wallet. I couldn't tell you how many times I've warned people about that while I'm shopping.

Annette said...

I soooo agree with you on both points, Joyce. As for my purse, I have one of those clip things that rock climbers use (can't think of the name for it) attached to my purse strap and when I put it in the shopping cart, I clip it to the cart. If someone wants to grab my purse and run, they're going to get a surprise. I don't expect it to stop a serious thief, but it might slow them down enough for me to kick him in the shins!

OK. I'm off to the store. I'll check back when (and if) I survive the trip.

Anonymous said...

I went to the grocery store yesterday afternoon, and it turned out to be a HUGE mistake.

I'm staying home today. I'm also staying home on Friday.

Martha Reed said...

I stopped by the local Giant Eagle at 8PM last night, needed dish soap and a gallon of milk, and the place was still packed. Yikes! Gridlock in Aisle 3. Couldn't get out of there fast enough, and talk about rude? The shopper behind me huffed "well!" when it took more than a minute for my transaction to process, no fault of mine, and she wheeled her cart to another checkout.

Funnily enough, my purchase went through and I was wheeling my cart out the door while she was still, now, standing two deep back in the other line. What is it with holidays and a lack of patience?

Anonymous said...

You are a braver woman than me, Annette.

Anonymous said...

So, Annette, what keeps someone from reaching into your purse and removing the money while the purse stays in the cart?

I'm more like Joyce -- I know that crooks are always looking around for opportunities, and that they're often very good at casually and quickly grabbing what they want and walking away. When I carry a purse, I keep it with me on a shoulder strap or, if I'm sitting down, in contact with my arm or feet. When I don't carry a purse, I keep the valuables (money, etc.) in inner pockets or in my shoes or underwear -- it may still be stolen, but not without my noticing!

By the way, although I'm vegetarian, I've never tried tofurkey. [Nor have I ever wanted to.]

Anonymous said...

I just returned from the battlefield. That's right, I went to the grocery store this morning. Last night Denene decided she'd like to make a couple of pecan pies for Thanksgiving. That's another story. Anyway, at 9:00 am I took a deep breath, suited up - put on the Kevlar - and made the journey.

I'll be honest. I've felt safer serving a search warrant on a crack house full of armed dope dealers. What a nightmare!

It wasn't too bad until I turned the corner on the aisle where all the baking supplies are kept. The white-haired, old ladies (Q-tips) saw me coming and struck offensive positions.

They immediatley circled their carts so I couldn't get through. A couple of them growled when I attempted to grab a bag of pecans. But it was either them or return home to face Denene pecanless. Not a pretty situation to be in.

I knew what I had to do. I grabbed my nuts and ran...

We'll be having pie tomorrow!

Anonymous said...

We're having Tofurky tomorrow. It's about the consistency of shoe leather, so you substitute chewing for flavor. And you're so busy chewing you don't realize it's nothing like the real bird. Yummy.

Hope you all have a great holiday. Thanks for a fun blog, Annette, and glad you have your nuts, Lee.

Anonymous said...

Oh, yes. The baking aisle. You are a brave man to attempt that, Lee. It can get downright nasty. I'm also glad you left with your nuts. LOL!

Should we send a search party out for Annette if we don't hear from her soon?

Joyce Tremel said...

Lee, I'm glad I'm the only one in the station at the moment. Snorting when I laugh is not very becoming. It's also good I waited to take a sip of my coffee.

Annette said...

I'm back! I survived!

Actually, it wasn't too bad. I must have hit it during a lull. The only crazed part was the check-out line and I found an unoccupied self-scan line, so even that went pretty well.

What took so long was one other little item I picked up while I was out. After more than three months of bouncing back and forth between the hospital and rehab, my mom was discharged this morning. I was afraid to say anything before for fear of jinxing it (twice before her release was nixxed the day before it was to happen).

Anyhow, all it well. And I'm looking forward to an especially sweet holiday.

Joyce Tremel said...

Annette, that's great news!

Anonymous said...

Joyce, would you like a piece of pecan pie with your nasal coffee?

Joyce Tremel said...

Ha ha.

Annette said...

I'm staying out of the nuts and coffee discussion, thank you very much.

But to answer Gina's question, just because I clip my purse to the cart doesn't mean I wander off and abandon it. I keep it zippered shut and don't leave it unattended. The clip is just an extra line of defense because I need to put the purse in my cart. My neck and shoulders get sore lugging that thing around. After all, I have at least one or two books in there ALWAYS.

Anonymous said...

Last year I waited until the night before Thanksgiving to grocery shop. I needed crushed pineapple for a casserole, and they were all sold out, but they had the pineapple rings. So I thought, "AH HA -- I'll buy that and put it in the blender and make my own crushed pineapple." It sounded good in theory, but what I ended up with was pineapple juice with a little pulp in it. :-( That casserole didn't turn out quite right. So, lesson learned, this year I did the grocery shopping Monday instead of Wednesday. It really wasn't terribly crowded, either.

I don't even want to think about tofurkey -- it doesn't sound very tempting.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!