…I miss my mind the most.
By Annette Dashofy
I’m almost done with my Christmas shopping. Don’t hate me. Unlike most folks, we don’t make a huge deal about gift-giving in my house. I already know that I’m getting a GPS unit and I’m waiting for Hubby to make up his mind about what he wants. For the most part, all the other gifts I’ve bought were either gift cards or books (of course).
Last week I bought one last gift card (a year’s worth of Tracfone airtime) and when I got it home and went to put it with the hundred and some dollars worth of other gift cards I’d purchased in recent months, I realized I had no idea where I’d put them.
It’s not like I needed to HIDE them. There’s only Hubby and me here and none of them were for him. No prying, curious eyes seeking out presents before the BIG DAY. So where the heck did I put them? I searched cupboards and closets and drawers. I even raked through the mountain of papers on my desk even though I was fairly certain I hadn’t been insane enough to put them there.
I remembered stashing them someplace good. Someplace where they wouldn’t get lost. Someplace where I could find them. But I couldn’t remember where that good spot was.
I wish I could say that this is the first time I’ve done this. It’s not. One year, back when we DID exchange real gifts with family members, I realized as the unwrapping was taking place on Christmas morning that one family member’s gift from me seemed to be AWOL. When I got home, I found it neatly tucked under my bed. I quickly wrapped it and rushed back to their house to present it with a face nearly as red as the bow on the package.
And there have been other even more embarrassing instances, which I choose not to share.
I don’t need Christmas to lose things either. Recently, I stood in the check-out line at the grocery store and reached for my charge card. It wasn’t in its usually slot in my wallet. I checked all the other slots. I dug through every inch of my purse. I checked every pocket in my coat and jeans. Nothing. I tried to recall where I’d used it last. However, nowadays, we mostly just swipe the card ourselves, so I couldn’t remember anyplace where the clerk had handled my card and perhaps not returned it. I was panic-stricken. I had another card with which to make the current purchase, but let’s face it, losing a charge card is NOT a good thing to do.
I found it later on my desk next to my computer where I’d used it to make an online purchase.
While I do eventually find most lost or misplace objects, sometimes they just vanish into thin air, never to be heard from again.
At least I come by it naturally. Several years ago, I gave my father who had Alzheimer’s, diabetes, AND a sweet tooth, a box of sugar-free chocolates from Sarris’. He loved them. My mother, knowing that he would eat the entire boxful in one sitting if not restrained, hid the box and doled pieces of candy out with his lunch. Except that she hid the box so well, she couldn’t find it. We all assumed that one day it would show up.
It didn’t. Ever. Not even to this very day.
I went back to Sarris’ and bought a new box.
Now anytime anything turns up missing, we say that it’s sitting on top of that box of sugar-free chocolate.
Okay, I suspect losing things isn’t something exclusive to my mother and me. What have you lost that you still search for? Have you ever found a gift in a fabulous hiding place in July that you bought for Christmas last year? You know the memory is the second thing to go. I just can’t remember the first…