By Annette Dashofy
I jumped in my car yesterday to make a quick run to the post office. What I saw in there (the car, not the post office) appalled me. I’m here to confess: my car is a mess.
Like most people, I live in my car. Figuratively. I’m not homeless, so I don’t sleep there, but I do tend to do most everything else in there. Eat. Drink. Listen to music. My car contains lots of my stuff (think George Carlin’s “stuff” routine).
What it doesn’t contain are knobs. Remember knobs? Those things we used to turn to adjust the radio’s volume or the station. Now it’s all buttons. There are no knobs in my car. Therefore, there is no place to hang a garbage bag.
Usually I loop one over the gear shift, but I tossed the last overflowing bag of trash and haven’t replaced it. So the floor on the passenger side is…well…revolting. Evidence of my on-the-road munchy attacks sit there. Empty coffee cups. Paper bags. Candy wrappers.
I can’t let anyone ride with me until I get out there and clean it up. How embarrassing.
But even when I’ve de-littered the vehicle, an archeologist could tell a great deal about my life by excavating my back seat. Here are a few things you can find there on any given day:
A yoga mat and wool blanket—These are for the private sessions I teach. Plus I figure the blanket might come in handy if I get stranded during one of the winter storms we’ve had.
Environment-friendly reusable shopping bags—These are always there. Even when I’m in the store, because I inevitably forget to take them with me.
Spare ear muffs and gloves—See above mentioned winter storms.
Gracie Garmin the GPS Unit—She keeps me from freaking out if I get detoured or just generally lost. Except in Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh confuses the hell out of Gracie. She especially hates Grant Street.
Box of Kleenex—Don’t leave home without them.
Sticky roller—I never notice the cat hair on my dress slacks until I get in the car. I also have several friends and family with cats who send their fur home with me attached to my clothes.
Ice scraper—Those winter storms again.
Under my seats you will find a monster flashlight that doubles as a weapon, a battered umbrella, two Pennwriters ballcaps, and more candy wrappers.
Then there is my music. I only carry one or two CDs with me at a time unless I’m on a road trip. The two I have in my car right now are Aerosmith and Celine Dion. One is to stay awake. The other is to de-stress. You figure out which is which.
So what does your car say about you? Give us quick tally of what we might find in your backseat. While you’re out in the garage taking inventory, I’m going to grab a trash bag and clean out the evidence of how much I’ve spent at Starbucks recently…