Monday, August 09, 2010

My Kids Think I'm ... Nuts

Since Wilfred can't post, I'm going to jump in here in hopes I can offer a Monday morning laugh...
(Warning: Intimate body parts will be discussed!!)

By Pat Remick

In my never-ending quest to continue being a good mother beyond the time my children apparently need me to do so, I apparently stepped over the line recently and I'm now worried that it could lead to years of therapy for each of them. Here's an area where I may need some "new beginnings," if that's our theme this month...

It all began when I recently attended a health fair and spotted some nifty little placards to hang in the shower that illustrate how to check for testicular cancer -- and keep track of the monthly examination. As one who never passes up an opportunity to send helpful information to my children, either through the mail or via Internet -- and whether they need it or not -- I snagged two of the cards and mailed one off to each son with a note that said "I know you think I'm 'nuts,' but I care about your health."

To my surprise, there was no acknowledgement of this latest Mom effort. Finally I asked No. 2 son if he had received the item as it was included in the same envelope as a check he needed to take to the college financial affairs office and a grocery store gift certificate.

"Oh my God," he spluttered. "Yes, I got it. Did you forget I share a bathroom with seven other people?"

Whoops. This had not occurred to me. "Oh, I'm so sorry, did I embarrass you?"

"Yes, you embarrassed me. But then I thought, it's just my crazy mother again," he said. "But how would you like it, Mom, if I sent you something that told you how to check for breast cancer and wrote a note that said, 'maybe you think I'm being a boob...'?"

I carefully considered the best way to answer. Finally I said, "I would think that you loved me very much -- and cared about my health."

"GRRRRR....." was his response.

A few days later I asked No. 1 son, who works an 8 p.m. to 4 a.m. shift, if he had read the article I sent about avoiding drowsy driving in the same envelope as his placard. "No, because when I opened the envelope and saw the cancer of the testicles thing, I stopped reading and threw it away."

"You didn't even look at it?" I whined. "I was only thinking of your health."

"Not only did I not read it," he said in an abrupt tone of voice. "We will never speak of this again."

Whoops again, I guess I just did. It occurs to me that this incident might make a good addition to ongoing list of ways I've embarrassed my children. So all you parents out there, I'd certainly appreciate it if you'd let me know I'm not alone.....


Joyce Tremel said...

That's too funny, Pat. I have two boys, so I'm thinking I may have to embarrass them soon. It's been awhile.

Why are men so squeamish about these things? If we had daughters the same age and sent them info on breast examinations, they'd think nothing of it.

Anonymous said...

Oh, heck with them, if they can't take a joke.

My girls used to always be embarrassed by my jokes, rolling their eyes at the most ingenious comments. When someone else would laugh at them, I'd turn to whichever daughter it was at the time and say, "See, I AM funny."

I'm appalled that the second son threw the card away. Honestly. No appreciation for the love and care you've shown in going to all that trouble. Shame on him. LOL

Jenna said...

LOL! I have two boys too, and I frequently embarrass at least the older one. But he's 11, and it's because I'm still treating him like he's my little boy. Can't do that with a pre-teen, yanno.

Linda Leszczuk said...

I thought embarrassing our children was part of the job description (right after worrying about their health). It's the one part of the job I'm really good at.

Laurissa said...

Haha! Pat, thanks so much for making me laugh today! Your post is the funniest that I've read in quite some time.

I don't know if I got such a kick out of it because I can relate in that I also send emails, news clippings, etc. to my daughter, or if it's because at first I didn't get the "nut" reference that your first son was embarassed :-)

Anyhow, I'm going to chuckle about your post for the rest of the day. Really funny!

Patg said...

I'm a fanatic for passing on health news, so am used to years of being ignored. I don't even ask anymore.

Mary@GigglesandGuns said...

I wish I could say something but I can't stop laughing.
I have 2 daughters and yes, they too can be embarrassed.

Gina said...

Pat -
If you thought your boys were embarrassed to receive info about testicular cancer in a private envelope, wait until they find out you posted a blog about their reactions on the internet.

PatRemick said...

I haven't told them.... LOL.... they usually don't check on my blog unless I post something on Facebook.... (and I never use their real names either!)

Anonymous said...

Pat, you gave me my big laugh of the day! Thank you!

Anonymous said...

This was hysterical, Pat and I loved the Mother's Day post link as well!

Still laughing!


PatRemick said...

Yes, sometimes I think my "mother" life is one big comedy routine... but the joke's on me.... LOL