Since Wilfred can't post, I'm going to jump in here in hopes I can offer a Monday morning laugh...
(Warning: Intimate body parts will be discussed!!)
By Pat Remick
In my never-ending quest to continue being a good mother beyond the time my children apparently need me to do so, I apparently stepped over the line recently and I'm now worried that it could lead to years of therapy for each of them. Here's an area where I may need some "new beginnings," if that's our theme this month...
It all began when I recently attended a health fair and spotted some nifty little placards to hang in the shower that illustrate how to check for testicular cancer -- and keep track of the monthly examination. As one who never passes up an opportunity to send helpful information to my children, either through the mail or via Internet -- and whether they need it or not -- I snagged two of the cards and mailed one off to each son with a note that said "I know you think I'm 'nuts,' but I care about your health."
To my surprise, there was no acknowledgement of this latest Mom effort. Finally I asked No. 2 son if he had received the item as it was included in the same envelope as a check he needed to take to the college financial affairs office and a grocery store gift certificate.
"Oh my God," he spluttered. "Yes, I got it. Did you forget I share a bathroom with seven other people?"
Whoops. This had not occurred to me. "Oh, I'm so sorry, did I embarrass you?"
"Yes, you embarrassed me. But then I thought, it's just my crazy mother again," he said. "But how would you like it, Mom, if I sent you something that told you how to check for breast cancer and wrote a note that said, 'maybe you think I'm being a boob...'?"
I carefully considered the best way to answer. Finally I said, "I would think that you loved me very much -- and cared about my health."
"GRRRRR....." was his response.
A few days later I asked No. 1 son, who works an 8 p.m. to 4 a.m. shift, if he had read the article I sent about avoiding drowsy driving in the same envelope as his placard. "No, because when I opened the envelope and saw the cancer of the testicles thing, I stopped reading and threw it away."
"You didn't even look at it?" I whined. "I was only thinking of your health."
"Not only did I not read it," he said in an abrupt tone of voice. "We will never speak of this again."
Whoops again, I guess I just did. It occurs to me that this incident might make a good addition to ongoing list of ways I've embarrassed my children. So all you parents out there, I'd certainly appreciate it if you'd let me know I'm not alone.....