Friday, April 01, 2011

More fool, you

by Jennie Bentley

Twenty four years ago today, my then-boyfriend called his sister and announced, “I’m getting married tomorrow.”

His sister said, “I’m not falling for that one. I know what day it is today.”

Then-boyfriend said, “I’m serious.”

Sister answered, “Yeah, sure. Pull the other one, why don’t ya?”

And thus it was that twenty four years ago tomorrow, when then-boyfriend and I got married in the Queens County Courthouse in Kew Gardens, New York, none of his family was there.

***

I’ve never been a fan of April Fool’s Day. My dad would always come up with these great ideas for foolery, and I’d get all excited, and then it would turn out that there was no moose on the lawn, or no chocolate cake in the kitchen, and I’d end up being disappointed.

Disappointment sucks. So does feeling like an idiot. On April 1st or any other time.

So I will not be trying to fool anyone today. Scout’s honor.

Instead, what I’ll do is send a copy of Mortar and Murder to a random commenter who tells me the best April Fool’s Day joke they ever perpetrated on someone else, or had perpetrated on them. It’s fitting, since Mortar and Murder opens on April 1st.

On April Fool’s Day, Derek started work on his dream house. If I had thought about it I would have realized that that was a bad sign, but no, I was just too excited that he finally had something to do, to worry about anything else.

And I solemnly swear I will not come back tonight with a, "Ha-ha, just kidding!"

Happy April 1st, everyone!

14 comments:

Linda Leszczuk said...

My favorite April Fool story comes from my Dad. He was ten, came home school and asked his older brothers where their mom was. They told him she'd gone to the hospital and had the baby (she wasn't due yet), another boy - her fifth. Dad wouldn't believe them, he knew it was April 1st.

By the way, Happy Birthday, Uncle Matt.

Joyce said...

That's too funny about your hubby's sister.

I'm not a fan of April Fool's Day either. I try to keep a low profile. I'm pretty much skeptical of everything anyway, so this day isn't much different than others. Several years ago, one of the radio hosts in Pittsburgh had a story about a UFO landing in North Park. I couldn't believe the number of people who actually thought it was real.

Funny story, Linda!

Laurie said...

Jennie,
What a fun story! I wish that I had an April Fool's story to share, but I don't. All I know is that I like to remind friends and family that it is April Fool's so that they'll be wary! lol

Annette said...

I hate April Fool's Day. As a kid I was such a sucker I fell for every lame joke my dad and grandpap pulled on me. None of them are worthy of noting here. These days I'm much better at spotting them, but I try to lay low anyhow. I can make a fool of myself just fine. I don't need outsided help.

Gina said...

This happened before I started working at XXX company, so I can't vouch for it personally, but I think it's true. One of the Legal Unit managers was a bit sexist, so a few of the female attorneys wrote a federal gender discrimination complaint and had it served upon him, as if a lawsuit had been filed. Sure scared him!

Tory said...

What a funny story!

Mostly I don't like April Fool's day jokes, either, as they usually end up being sort of mean. But I did experience one I like.

When I was in graduate school I lived in a housing coop with 28 other people and 10 or so who ate there. We had 3 kinds of milk: skim milk that came in blue containers, 2% which came in purple containers, and whole milk which came in red containers.

If you wanted someone to pass you the milk at dinner, you'd say,
"Please pass the red/purple/blue milk."

Well, you've probably guessed it by now. One memorable April Fool's we woke up and the red milk was really red, the purple milk really purple, and, worst of all, the blue milk was really blue. The red and purple weren't so bad, but I think no one ever finished the blue, blue milk and it had to be thrown out.

I guess I liked it because it was honestly funny and no one in particular was the butt of the joke, just our general house practice.

Today, at work, we're waiting to hear whether a small grant will be funded. But it would just be too cruel to send out a fake email, wouldn't it???

Karen in Ohio said...

Happy anniversary to you and your honey, Bente!

This is fun, reading everyone's stories. My husband and I pulled off the biggest April fool's joke ever, on our own children, I'm ashamed to say. It was Easter weekend, and they were being crazy, obnoxious, and just plain out of control. They would not go to bed on either Friday or Saturday night, and we were both exhausted by midnight on Saturday. Easter Sunday happened to fall on April 1st, so I decided to make them think they had missed Easter.

We made up their baskets, but hid them, and when the girls finally woke up in the morning they couldn't find the usual Easter stuff. We told them they slept through it, after staying up too late two nights in a row, and that the Easter bunny decided not to stop. We kept it up just long enough to convince them, and then surprised them with their baskets.

Now it's a family legend. I know, I'm the worst mom in the world. But the girls now think it was funny. And no one has yet needed therapy, so that's good, right?

My maiden name is Brenner, and my Grandpa Brenner was almost entirely bald. I convinced my ex that Yul Brynner was my grandpa's long-estranged brother (which accounted for the respelling, natch). He got so excited that he was just about to call his snooty sister-in-law and crow about it. I took pity on him and finally admitted it was an April fool's joke. He sulked the whole day.

Tory said...

OK, was that snowflake I just saw drifting past my window an April foll's day joke???

Patg said...

They've decided to change the date of April Fool. Yes, you have to be wary on April 15--it seems making it coincide with tax day.
April Fool!!!!
But you never know.

kourtneyheintz said...

April 1 and it's snowing in CT. I feel like this is the worst joke and Mother Nature is laughing her ass off at us all. :)

Gina said...

It's snowing here in Pittsburgh, too. My office is on the 38th floor of the Gulf Tower, and all I can see from my window beyond the balcony is WHITE. Mother Nature definitely has a sense of humor.

Jenny Hanahan said...

I'm not a fan of making fools out me or others either! ha

What I have enjoyed is trying to find all of the mistakes in Normal Rockwell Post covers for April that he would do. :)

Jennie Bentley said...

Drumroll, please!

The winner of Mortar and Murder, as picked out of a hat by my 8-year-old, is Jenny Hanahan. Congrats, Jenny! I'll be in touch with you.

Thanks for playing, everyone, and have a wonderful rest of the month! xoxo

cyn209 said...

many years ago, a group of us at work were part of a lottery group......we won a nice sum, not the grand jackpot.....but we told our boss that we did.......he asked me first if i would still come back to work.....i told him, yes, & he was happy......then i told him, 'i would have to come in to clear out my desk'.......he face DROPPED & then i had to say AprilFool!!! LOL!!!

Cynthia
cyn209@juno.com