Canadian Movies and Rights

Movies Made In Canada leads to Rights in other Countries.
by Pat Gulley

Cable television has brought us a slew of stations showing movies that will never be seen in theaters. They are made for TV, and they all seem to be made in Canada. I can’t remember when I first noticed this, but when I did I started paying closer attention to the credits to see where the movie was made. (And believe me, this isn’t an easy thing to do! Have you noticed how much faster TV credits roll, and inevitably they are shrunk down so the station can do previews or advertising.)

Anyway, it made me wonder. I already knew that film makers from Hollywood moved production to Canada to take advantage of the better buy the US dollar had against the Canadian dollar, and because of this there are many big productions studios in British Columbia and Quebec producing for Hollywood. When the dollar weakened, there was one big article about moving a lot of that production back to California, however I never found anymore scuttle on that idea. Do you remember when David Duchovny demanded that X-Files production move back to California when his wife became pregnant?

But it wasn’t production that got me cogitating, rather why all these movies had to be about things that go on in the USA. What’s wrong with things that go on in Canada? Canadians have love lives, love triangles, deceases, mayhem and murder, right? I mean, that TV show, Da Vinci Files was very good, and the police and forensic procedures in Canada were as interesting as those in the US. And when something happened that required comparisons between our procedures and laws and theirs, then the show became even more interesting.

So, why don’t we get more stories that take place in Canada? Is there an assumption that we have no interest in the lives of our near neighbor or other countries? Then why are foreign crime stories from France, Italy, British Isles and Australia, oh yeah and Russia, so popular? Maybe it’s because all the shows are ordered by Hollywood, and I’m sure we all know what they think of the herd out here. Oh well.

All this different country stuff then brought my thinking around to the only times I ever give writing a nonfiction book any consideration. It’s usually when I’m watching a police show that takes place in foreign lands. It would be a comparison of the laws and rights we American take for granted. As an agent for a world travel company, I was always surprised to hear how many Americans believed that these rights were theirs no matter where they traveled on the planet. The book, or pamphlet, would compare such things as ‘reading you your rights before being arrested’ ‘search and seizure’ ‘right to a lawyer’ and a few others with those of countries Americans travel to frequently: Mexico, Canada, Great Britain, France, Italy, The Bahamas and China or Japan.

If you get BBC America you may have watched the original, British version of Life on Mars? The cop that finds himself back in 1972 keeps getting his Caution to criminals mixed up? He always wanted to give them the 2006 version, which was changed sometime in the 90s. Our Miranda is more like their 1972 version, and most Americans would be surprised by the difference.

My biggest fear would be not getting all the details correct, but some brief comparisons would raise a lot of American eyebrows. How many people who went off to the Chinese Olympics would have been shocked to find out how many rights they’d given up just by stepping off the airplane and on to Chinese soil?

Do you think it would sell?

Bring on the Stupidity Police

by Annette Dashofy

I’m composing a list of new laws that should be enacted. I’m not saying they will be. Or that it would matter. People break the law all the time. But either I’m getting cranky in my old age or society is getting ruder and I’m fed up with it.

So here’s what I’ve come up with so far:

Pedestrians vs. motor vehicles in inclement weather—persons in motor vehicles in
parking lots must yield to pedestrians when the weather sucks. Be it snow, bitter cold, or wind and heavy rain, if you are in your car, you are dry and warm. The mom with two little kids in tow waiting to cross in front of you is not. Stop and let her go!

Children in restaurants—at no time should a child be permitted to run loose in a
restaurant unless they are in a play area such as at McDonalds. In a real restaurant, a kid running free because the parents can’t bring themselves to deal with their little darling another moment is likely to trip the waiter who is carrying around large trays of hot food and beverage. Such a trip can potentially cause grave injury to whomever ends up wearing the soup. That probably won’t be the child because they’re too fast and will be gone before the china hits the floor.

Long check-out lines—if only two check-out lanes are open and the line for both stretches back into the merchandise, the store manager should be required to open up additional lanes or face stiff fines and penalties.

Illegal cart parking—okay, yes, I’m dumping on retail establishments, but that is where I tend to get the most annoyed. People who leave their shopping carts unattended in the middle of a narrow row so that no one can get around them without physically moving the unattended cart should be ticketed and fined.

Addendum to illegal cart parking—people who double park their carts in the middle of a crowded aisle to visit with a long-lost pal while oblivious to other shoppers trying to either get around them or trying to reach a product that they are blocking should also face penalties. Find a wider aisle for your chat or, better yet, arrange to meet at Starbucks later.

Okay, that’s a start. Now it’s your turn to add to the list. What offensive offenses would you like to see outlawed? What bits of common courtesy need to be legally required?

We'll worry about how to actually enforce these new laws in another blog.

Illegal Activities

by Joyce Tremel

Last week, when I was researching some Pennsylvania laws, I came across some strange ones. It's hard to believe that some of these are still on the books.

In Ridley Park, Pennsylvania, it is illegal to walk backwards while eating peanuts in front of Barnstormers Auditorium while a performance is going on.

It is illegal in Morrisville for a woman to wear any kind of cosmetics without acquiring a special permit.

You cannot use dynamite to catch fish.

All liquor stores in Pennsylvania shall be run by the state government. (This one explains a lot.)

Housewives are not allowed to clean by brushing the dirt and dust underneath a rug. (What about brushing it under the furniture?)

It’s illegal to have more than 16 women living in the same domicile. It would be considered a brothel if there were more than that.

It is illegal to discharge a cannon, firearm or any kind of explosive device at a wedding.

A person is not eligible to become Governor if he/she has participated in a duel.

All fire hydrants must be checked one hour before all fires. (Firemen have ESP?)

Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass. If the horses appear skittish, the motorist must take his car apart, piece by piece, and hide it under the nearest bushes.

In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth. (Don't you wonder WHY they had to come up with this law?)

In Philadelphia you can't put pretzels in bags.

In the Mount Pocono region any group of 5 or more Native Americans are to be considered a raiding party and may be killed on the spot.

In York, Pennsylvania you can't sit down while watering your lawn with a hose.

In Pittsburgh it is still illegal to bring a donkey or a mule onto a trolley car. No one is allowed to sleep on a refrigerator.

In Tarentum horses are not to be tied to parking meters.

The state law of Pennsylvania prohibits singing in the bathtub. (What about the shower?)

You may not catch a fish by any body part except the mouth.

I'm sure there are more of these out there. How about all of you? Care to contribute silly laws from your own states?