Victim of the Query Shark

By Paula Matter

My very good friend Annette Dashofy knows how to keep a secret. She did not tell anyone about my plan to crash the Pennwriters costume party at the conference last weekend. *

As the official conference photographer, Annette took some fantastic shots. Go check out her blog to see some of them. http://annettedashofy.blogspot.com/ She sent me the following photos so I could upload them today. Thanks, Annette!

Earlier in the evening, I had begged agent Janet Reid to attend the party. Awesome person that she is, it didn't take much begging. Janet likes to make people think she's mean and tough, but a lot of us know better.

Yeah. I said it.

By the time Janet popped in, I'd been in that costume for about 15 minutes. Warm and stuffy. She showed up, I got the laugh I wanted. I couldn't wait to get out the costume.

Then someone dared me to traipse through the hotel lobby in my costume. Since I would've been the kid to stick my tongue on a frozen pole, I was off in a flash. Of course, there were two long hallways to go down before reaching the lobby. With parties and people everywhere.

I found friends in the lobby (and made some new ones along the way), and all I remember is the flash of lots of cameras. And shouting. And laughing. I loved every single minute of it. I live to make people laugh.

 Except it was getting warmer and stuffier by the minute. I pulled off the costume and plopped down on a

bench. See the hat Annette is wearing? True friend that she is, she tossed it on my head to hide my sopping wet hair. I stuffed the shark in a bag and we returned to the party.

Someone offered to buy me a drink if I would crash the prom going on in the courtyard. That's all it took. The shark came out of the bag. Back down the long hallways, through the immense lobby, past the other parties.

Loud, very loud rap music was playing when I strutted into the courtyard. Giggles, laughter, high fives all around. There are no photos of this because Annette said she was laughing too hard. 

The shark went back into the bag and I gulped down my drink. I went outside for some fresh air and met a woman who said she'd heard about someone dressed up like a shark. I admitted to the deed. She begged me to show it to her and her friend in the bar.

Back to the party where I pulled the shark out of the bag, walked down the halls, through the lobby and into the bar. Laughter, yadda yadda yadda. I shoved the shark into the bag, went back outside for some more fresh air.

After cooling off, and with my hair fairly dry, I returned to the party. I was told I was in the running for Best Costume. Or Funniest. Or Original. I offered to put the costume back on. Five of us stood at the front of the room with the party hostess. Ayleen Stellhorn, conference coordinator, was appropriately dressed as Wonder Woman. 

 

Here I'm being asked "Who are you?" My answer, "Victim of the Query Shark."

Winners were chosen by the volume of the audience's applause. My turn came and the response was overwhelming. The thunderous applause and cheers made up for all the overheating, stuffiness, and sweat.

Would I do it again? Only if someone double-dogged-dared me. Who am I kidding? I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

*I already did this in person, but a very special thanks to Ayleen for letting me crash her conference.

And just for fun.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLAYvjaGGqM&feature=related

Conference Bound II

by Joyce

I'm off to the Pennwriter's Conference today. Instead of a post, I'm leaving yinz guys to play nicely among yourselves.

In the comments, tell everyone your conference stories. What was the best conference you attended? The worst? What was the greatest thing that happened at a conference? The funniest thing? The worst thing?

Come on. I know you have some good ones!

Conference Bound

By Annette Dashofy


As you read this, I’m either in the process of heading out the door or on the road to Lancaster and the Pennwriters Conference. It’s finally here.

Last year, I coordinated the conference. That means I didn’t get to participate in any of the workshops. Okay, I did steal away for the Crime Fiction Panel, but that was it. I attended the dinners and luncheons, but was too anxious to really enjoy the food.

This year will be different. (I hope!) In way of “payment” for all the work I did last year, THIS year’s conference is pretty much comped for me. Good thing, since Hubby is still unemployed…and seeming to like it. Ahhh, but that’s a topic for another day. The point is I plan to have a helluva good time this weekend.

I admit I’m stressing out over my agent pitch. But since my appointment is scheduled for 10:40AM Friday, I’ll get it over with and be free to kick back.

After last year, I swore I would never be intimidated by an agent again. And really, I’m not. It’s not the agent that has me stressed. It’s the whole “sending my baby out into the world” thing. I don’t care if it’s a novel, a short story, a magazine article, or a 250 word column, there is always a little fear about opening up your heart and soul to the public. And this is the first pitch/query I’ve done for this particular manuscript.

It’s as though this is my baby’s first day of school. I’m the nervous mother. And I so want someone to like my child and befriend her.

Yes, I’m getting sappy. Sorry. By Friday, I promise to be totally professional.

Anyhow, I’m looking forward to the array of workshops and events on the schedule. There’s Tim Esaias’ day-long workshop tomorrow; Ramona Long’s Mystery Writing Breakout session; CJ Lyons’ Pitch Perfect and No Rules, Just Write workshops; and Loree Lough’s Synopsis class, to name a few.

I’m also looking forward to socializing with friends that I only see once a year, as well as my local Sisters in Crime and Pennwriters who are traveling across the state today or tomorrow. There are a lot of folks I wanted to spend time with last year, but I was too busy, and they were gracious enough to give me rain checks, which I intend to cash in.

So I’m outta here. I’ll see some of you there. Good luck to everyone who’s pitching. The rest of you can talk among yourselves today. I’ll be posting progress reports and photos of the weekend over at Writing, etc. Feel free to stop in.

Oh, by the way, next week you’ll have the pleasure of meeting our newest Working Stiff, my friend Tamara Girardi. She’ll be alternating Wednesdays with me. Make sure you check in and give her a warm Working Stiffs welcome.

Never Stop Learning

by Annette Dashofy

My mother has never been able to figure it out. When I was in school, I was a lazy student. Hated to study. Did my homework on the bus. Made decent grades, but never really worked at it. However, once I graduated and started taking various assorted oddball classes and courses, I suddenly became an honor student. Emergency medical training? I aced it. Adult education computer classes from the community college? 4.0 GPA.


I love workshops and online classes. I adore writing conferences and retreats. Decades after my “formal” education ended, I could happily be a fulltime professional student.

Education is wasted on the young. Or at least it was in my case.

Anyhow, since we’re talking about writing advice, my point is this: never stop learning.

I really believe the more we know, the more we have to learn. When I started writing, I thought it was easy. Okay, you may stop laughing now. I figured out how wrong I was in very short order. Since then, I can’t begin to count how many writing courses and workshops I’ve taken.

And I still have sooo much to learn. That’s why I’ll be trekking to our local Sisters in Crime writers’ retreat this weekend. Trekking? From the looks of the forecast, I may be canoeing in. I don’t care. I’ll be there with pen and notepad and laptop ready to soak in everything I possibly can.

So my advice is to find a writing course or workshop and sign up. There are some really good ones online that won’t break your budget.

(I should mention, I’m currently dealing with an online course curse, but that’s a subject for another blog.)

Look for a writers’ conference. The 2010 Pennwriters Conference is only a few short months away and it’s one of the best. I can say that this year, because unlike last year, I’m not coordinating it. Mwahaha.

And read. I know Gina already mentioned that on Monday, and I totally agree with her. But for the purpose of this blog, I mean read books on craft. There are some great ones out there that cover all aspects of the process.

No matter where you are in your writing career, there’s always something else to learn. Go for it!

Plotting a Conference

(A note from Annette) Some of you may recall that last year this time I was up to my eyeballs coordinating the 2009 Pennwriters Conference. Today, I’m pleased to introduce guest blogger, Ayleen Stellhorn who is this year’s conference coordinator and does it with much more grace and serenity (externally, at least!) than I could muster. 

Freelancer Ayleen Stellhorn writes for local and regional publications and edits books and magazine articles for the hobby and craft market. A member of Pennwriters, she is coordinating their 23rd Annual Conference, May 14-16, at the Eden Resort in Lancaster, PA.

I recently took down all the 3x5 cards mapping out my current WIP and replaced them with index cards for the 2010 Pennwriters Conference. Funny how my Act I, Act II, and Act III column heads were so easily replaced by Friday, Saturday, and Sunday tags. And all those chapter/scene designations down the left edge? They’re now one-hour time slots for workshops.

Maybe it’s just me, but there’s something about a roadmap — granted mine’s a really big, extremely anal-retentive roadmap — that helps me stay on track and think clearer when it comes to making my way from A to Z.

I tried using Excel to plot out the conference. It didn’t work. Having to navigate to the correct file and then scroll down to see all the pieces was too frustrating and time consuming. There’s just no easy way to capture a 4x6-foot piece of wall on a 17x12-inch computer screen.

May as well face it… I like being able to see the whole picture in one glance. I blame my first boss. One wall of her office was filled with a matrix that let us see an entire year’s worth of magazine issues and articles at one time. Want to know who’s writing the beginning carving article for the July issue? Just look at the wall.

When I moved on to be a book editor, I applied the same principle to my spring and fall lists. Want to know who’s authoring the scroll saw pattern book next fall? Just look at the wall. No tinkering with computer screens or file folders necessary.

So now the 2010 conference schedule is up on the wall. Does the agent/editor class I need to switch to time slot 9:15 to 10:15 on Friday morning conflict with the how-to class during that same time? I just look at the wall.

Now all I have to do is figure out how to take the wall with me when I head to Lancaster for the conference the spring.

To learn more about the 2010 Pennwriters Conference, visit http://www.pennwriters.com/, check out their Facebook page at Pennwriters Annual Writers Conference, or e-mail conference2010@pennwriters.com. Friday’s keynote is best-selling author James Rollins. Visiting agents and editors are Janet Reid, Jenny Bent, Jennifer Jackson, Miriam Kriss, Alex Glass, Barbara Lalicki, Leis Pederson, and David Pomerico.