Saying Good-Bye

By Paula Matter

Two weeks ago this time, I was grateful I still had two weeks to come up with today’s blog post. My last one here at Working Stiffs. 

Saying good-bye isn’t easy.

Two weeks ago, I’d written about the sudden death of Davy Jones. Last Saturday I went to a memorial in Beavertown, PA to say good-bye to him. (There are tons of photos and videos on Facebook and Youtube. I have a couple of videos at both places).

Saying good-bye is not easy.

It helped that the atmosphere, the whole event wasn’t totally sad or somber. Lots of funny stories and good music helped ease the sadness. His life was celebrated and I was there with 500 others to help do it.

So that's how I decided to end my last post.

Y'know how you're suppose to give the audience what they want? Darcy Flynn, this one's for you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0emLj0d66DQ&feature=player_detailpage

Or you're suppose to leave 'em laughing?

My favorite clean joke:

Do you know why seagulls don't fly over bays?

Because then they'd be bagels.

No? Not laughing? Okay. Tell you what. Since this can't possibly be the last time we'll be together, next time we meet, I'll tell you some of my better, dirtier jokes.

Thanks, fellow Stiffs, and dear readers and commenters, for all of the good times.

Til next time. . .

For All the Other Fifty-something Year Old Women Out There

Readers and books and pies, oh my!

By Barbara Poelle

Thanks for having me back to guest blog! I had suspected that my inane ramblings may have excluded me from further invitation, but Paula has indicated to me that perhaps the rest of you are not quite normal yourselves, so MY PEOPLE!

And hey, how is it FEBRUARY again? It seems like it comes EVERY YEAR or something. Aside from the birthdays of some of the loveliest people, I feel like living through February is like buying a pair of pants for an oyster: funny for a minute, but then OH MY GOD why is it so cold?!?!!?

The ONLY thing I look forward to in February are the weekend days where it is too cold to make plans with friends so I HAVE to stay inside and read all day. Please, who are we kidding, I don't care much for "activities" or "others" so I am THRILLED to stay in and read anytime. However, there is something about it being bitterly cold outside, but warm with a book inside, that really makes me feel like I am getting away with something, like that time I bought a pair of pants for an oyster. Aaaaand with the Edgar nominees  out (gestures WILDLY to the Mary Higgins Clark Award Nominees where Tracy Kiely's Murder Most Persuasive is nominated) I can have a new reading list to work from. THE DEVOTION OF SUSPECT X by Keigo Higashino was stupendous,  so I feel like that might have me pinned down for best book. And come on, you HAVE to backflip for Steve Ulfelder's Purgatory Chasm, and the rest is just a grab bag of delicious reading. And I like having a list to systematically work through, like a big neon arrow saying YOU WILL LIKE THESE.

Which wait, totally brings me to a new point. Is it me, or do people still go mainly off of word of mouth when they are looking for a new book to read ? If I had a personal pie chart, or wait, I want a personal pie. Okay, I want to eat a razzleberry pie while I talk about this pie chart. Yes, razzleberry is a real pie option although I think it has cartoon ingredients and, like, 4000 calories. Anyway, get me a spoon. Okay. So pie chart while eating pie of how I hear about books:





Holy CRAP! I just MADE A PIE CHART! Is this something that people know how to do!?!?! I think I might be some kind of GENIUS!

Although now my keyboard is covered in sticky pie filling.

Here's the thing, even with the influx of ebook retailers and their helpful suggestions, I am still an old fashioned kind of gal as far as purchasing new titles. I want someone to tell me they loved it first, and that someone is usually a reader, NOT a blurb from another author. I also still loooove to wander through Hudson Books, or Barnes and Noble and just scoop up 4 or 5 titles that speak to me through the cover art and back copy. Taking those kinds of chances led me to books like FALL ON YOUR KNEES (Ann-Marie MacDonald) and THE DEVIL'S TEETH (Susan Casey).

I would LOVE to hear from you on the way you discover new readers. Oh! Let's do this: You tweet me that you have made a comment in the comments section here (and throw the link of the blog in the tweet) about how you find new authors and books and I will read all of the comments and then I will pick several to win fun new books! Wait, does that need to be another slice of pie up there? The agent giveaway slice of pie. Mmmmmm, pie.

Anyway, tweet me at @Bpoelle after you comment below so I can find you again for the drawing.

Can't wait to hear from you!

A Guessing Game

By Paula Matter

I've uploaded a few videos/images.

Can you figure out what story I'm telling?

http://www.youtube.com/v/mZ9nfMwxJa8&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&version=3%22%3E%3C/param%3E%3Cparam

 

                                            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxAKFlpdcfc



Grammer Pet peeves

By Paula Matter

I could of sworn it was’nt my turn for writing a post for the blog today; but I keep loosing track of time so I guess its my turn afterall. I have to remember Joyce and me alternate each Thursday. Gosh, me and her have been writing on Thursday’s for a long time. Of course, she’s been doing it alot longer than me.

OMG, I am totally cringeing at all the mistakes I maid in the paragraph above. Do you any idea how hard it was to ignore the red and blue squiggley lines! I mean really. Their are so numerous mistakes I can’t hardly beleive it. Its really hard to phantom all the errors; but these are mistakes I see alot of.

Irregardless of all the mistakes, I for one am glad that this post is over and I can know put it up on the blog for today. I will try and remember to come back buy today to look at any comments.

Do you’re best to find all of the mistakes I made! Than tell us your pet peeves!



First Line Quiz

By Paula Matter

ETA: Time for some hints! In no particular order, here are the last names initials of the authors. All 10, even though Barb knew Alan Orloff's. Scroll down for the ANSWERS.

I have a file on my computer that (which?) contains sentences that pop into my head. Some of these are opening lines for stories I’m currently working on, others are for stories that have nothing more than the one line. Some of them have been sitting in that file for a very long time. Some of them aren’t opening lines, but I know they’ll fit somewhere in a story. Someday. Somewhere. Somehow.

I love coming up with opening lines. I love reading great opening lines. I love quizzes matching opening lines with their authors. I especially love creating quizzes where I know the answers.

Just for fun, can you match up the following ten opening lines with their author and title?

There are no prizes, so go ahead and Google your heart out.

1. I hate whiners.

2. You may remember me.

3. I was lying dead in the churchyard.

4. The first thing I noticed as I was sitting in a squad car was that police cruisers don’t have seatbelts in the back.

5. “I’m scared,” Ethan said.

6. I lurked in the wings watching the man kill.

7. Falling on my ass really hurts.

8. If my life were a book, I would have masking tape holding my hinges together.

9. “They’re all dead.”

10. Justifiable homicide might be hard to prove, but my had-it-up-to-here brain was giving it a hearty stamp of approval as a reasonable defense.

So, have at it! I’ll be back later today to provide the answers. Y’all are such a smart group, I have a strong hunch I won’t have to.

Did you have to Google for any/all of these lines? I'm thinking at least one will be known immediately by this group.

What are some of your favorite opening lines? How important are they to you as a reader? As a writer?

Hints:  Answers:

1. Lois Winston; Assault with a Deadly Glue Gun
2.Steve Hamilton; The Lock Artist
3. Alan Bradley; The Weed That Strings the Hangman's Bag
4. Nancy Martin; Sticky Fingers
5. Linwood Barclay; Never Look Away
6. Alan Orloff; Killer Routine
7. Joelle Charbonneau; Skating Around the Law
8. Kate Carlisle; If Books Could Kill
9. Sheila Connolly; Red Delicious Death
10. Heather Webber; Deeply, Desperately

Does that help?

Obsessions

By Paula Matter

ob·sessed, ob·sess·ing, ob·sess·es

v.tr.

To preoccupy the mind of excessively.

v.intr.

To have the mind excessively preoccupied with a single emotion or topic: "She's dead. And you're still obsessing" (Scott Turow).

Any guesses where I’m going by showing the definition and the photo? Any clue what they may have in common?

I have become obsessed with following the tragic case of Michelle Parker’s disappearance. Are you familiar with the situation? Two weeks today ago this 33 year-old mom of three disappeared. On that day, the People's Court episode in which she appreared with her ex-fiancé aired just hours before she was declared missing.

It’s been like watching a train wreck.

I can’t stop looking at the following Web sites:

http://websleuths.com/forums/tags.php?tag=michelle+parker

http://scaredmonkeys.net/index.php?board=140.0

I tell myself in the morning that I’ll just go check to see if there are recent developments, then hours (HOURS) later, I’m still poring over the sites.

I feel like an armchair detective, an amateur sleuth. (That was my way of bringing this post round to mysteries. Clever, huh?)

Are there any cases, criminal or otherwise, where you’ve become obsessed? Do you crane your neck as you drive by accident scenes? Any tips on what I can do to curb this current obsession of mine?

I know, I know. Disconnect from the Internet.

AWARD-WINNING WRITER SCARES NANCY PICKARD*

By Paula Matter

*Barry Eisler didn’t look too happy either. However, he did stay in his chair.

What in the world am I talking about, you ask?

After woefully cancelling my registration to this year’s New England Crime Bake con, I became even sadder as the weekend approached.

How could it be that I would miss this fabulous experience? I’ve made the trip to Dedham, MA the past two years for this mystery con. I know many of the attendees, and a lot of them are people I get to see only once a year. My car knows the route. I can drive it in six hours regardless what Mapquest says. I was scheduled to work only one day, and I could easily ask someone to cover half my shift on Saturday morning. If I got on the road by 9:30, I’d have plenty of time.

What could possibly stop me?

Oh. I’d cancelled and they’d been sold out for weeks.

Crap.

Since one of my mottoes is “It never hurts to ask,” I asked.

They said yes! Well, she said yes. Barb Ross, the wonderful lady in charge of registration, wrote back right away saying attending just the banquet would be no problem.

Yay!

But it was a costume banquet. Hmmm. Who here does not know how much I love dressing up for costume parties?

That’s right. I simply had to get a costume.

The theme: Sleuths, Spies and Private Eyes. Nothing simple about it since time was limited. I read further down on the Web site page, and there, there it was! A category for “The Best of the Baddies.”

A villain? Oh, hell yeah.

Here's the photo the fabulous Mo Walsh took. Can you tell who I am?

Here’s a hint: When I told Nancy Pickard I was her number one fan, she jumped out of her chair, and tried to hide from me.

 After winning first place (the judges said they were too scared to not declare me the winner!), Hallie Ephron told me I could now call myself an award-winning writer. (Don’t worry. I’m only doing that today for a title.) Full disclosure: While there were many dressed in costumes for the other categories, mystery novelist Vincent H. O’Neil, and I were the only two  “Best of the Baddies.”

If I hadn’t scared the judges, Vinnie had a good shot at winning as Professor Moriarty.

And just to show y'all the judges weren't really scared, here's another photo:

I have to share one more photo with y'all. Nikki Bonanni (on left) won Best Overall and here's why:

                                               Lisbeth Salander, Harriet Vane & Emma Peel

Thanks to everyone at Crime Bake. See you next year!

Directionally Impaired

By Paula Matter

I got lost last Sunday leaving the restaurant parking lot where I'd just had lunch with Annette. When we sat at the red light waiting to make a left tun, Annette suggested we should be making a right. No way could I switch over to the right lane, and besides, although I trusted Annette's judgemjent, I didn't believe her. The restaurant had been on our right when I turned into its parking lot, so obviously it would be on our left when we left.

Or something like that.

I'm thinking about following directions today because I have one of my biggest (longest) road trips coming up. In twelve days, I'm driving from Pennsylvania down to Miami. By myself.

Before I leave I'll have printed out step-by-step directions for each part of the trip. My first day, I'll drive just under 500 miles to Rocky Mount, NC. The next day, 500 more miles to Florida where I'll visit my sister for a couple of days.

I'll have two more stops before actually getting into Miami. I'll be seeing family and friends I haven't seen in years. When I'm not staying with friends or family, I'll be in hotels. My reservations are all set.

My only reservation now is whether or not I can do this trip without a GPS. Or maybe I'll just stay out of restaurant parking lots.

How about you? Are you directionally impaired? What's your worst getting lost story? Do you map out your trips ahead of time? Make hotel reservations beforehand? Or just wing it?

Hope you enjoy the following:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuIigR4gUf0&feature=related

If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix It

By Paula Matter

Show of hands. How many of you immediately know what I’m referring to with the title? Ah ha. I see all of those hands. Y’all are smart, but I already knew that.

For the few of you who didn’t raise your hand, that’s okay. Actually, not doing so probably makes you smarter. It tells me that you’re not on Facebook.

Or you’re on Facebook, but aren’t bothered by the recent changes. More power to you. The rest of us are annoyed as hell.

I’d like to be able to finish that sentence with ‘and we’re not gonna take it anymore.’ But we will. Because we did when other changes were made.

Remember when we were left in the dark on who was friends with each other? Yeah, so do I. A lot of people complained and then we kinda just got used to it.

I’m at a loss to come up with the many other changes Facebook has implemented over the years. Guess that tells me I’ll get used to these changes as well.

But for now, this song keeps playing in my head. . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbnJo88kuP8&feature=player_detailpage

So. Are you on Facebook? Do you mind the changes? Do you remember any of the other changes? What would you like to see gone? Added? Not messed with?

Cozy, My Ass

By Paula Matter

None of us Working Stiffs are old enough to have watched Gone with the Wind when it was released in 1939, but I’m sure we all know of the controversy this scene caused:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlHeFYE6UbU&feature=player_detailpage
Frankly, my dears, GWTW was not the first film to’ve used profanity. That honor goes to the British version of the 1938 film, Pygmalion. The things we learn in the name of research.

Nowadays, swearing seems to have become the norm in books, films, and television. Recently I watched the TV show In Plain Sight and one character referred to another as an asshole. Ah. Should I have written that as a$$hole? Or maybe a**hole? Is anyone offended by my original choice?

I started thinking about the use of profanity in books after I picked up a cozy mystery to read the other day. At least I thought it was a cozy because of the cover, and the title. I had certain expectations when I curled up with this book. I knew immediately I was wrong.

I also had no problem with the swear words. If you know me at all, you know I don’t shy away from cussing. I hear you laughing, Annette.

Anyway, there are times I want to read a lighter mystery. I love dark, intense hard-boiled fiction, but when I’m in the mood for it. I like cozier, small town setting, amateur sleuth stories when I’m in the mood for them.

I know what I’m in for when I pick up a Miss Marple. Ditto Jack Reacher. Could you imagine if Miss Marple told the vicar to fuck off? What if Jack Reacher joined a knitting club?

Now, if Reacher later used those knitting needles, well. . .

Expectations. What are some of yours when reading? Do you find swearing offensive? What’s your favorite cuss word, or its derivative?

Plotting or Plodding?

By Paula Matter

I had expected this to be my wrap-up post on my adventures in gardening. Since I started blogging about my garden back in May (April? Let me go look up when it actually was. Details are so important when writing. Only take me a minute to check).

Huh. Early June. Somehow it seems much longer.

Anyway, while I have some photos today, the garden is still not finished. Not at all where I want it to be.

Before I show the photos (I know, the suspense is killing you, isn’t it? Meh.) I’d like to share some of what I’ve learned:

* Ramona was right about people sharing plants. I now have a beautiful lychnis (yeah, I didn’t know what it was either--just that it was pretty), and a tall yellow plant (I’ll go look it up. Be right back. . .) Okay. I still don’t know, but it’s similar to a sunflower. And my neighbor now has a clump of my coreopsis.

*I learned how to divide my coreopsis.

*A newly uprooted plant needs to be plopped back into the ground fairly quickly.

*A shovel might be my most valuable tool. One evening I planted an iris in the perfect spot. Next morning, not so perfect. I dug that sucker up and replanted where it still remains.

*Patience. I want to divide my pink hibiscus, but must wait until the proper time.

*Rabbits don’t like to be squirted with hoses.

So, if you’re still with me, here are some more photos of my gardening WIP.

Before the mulch. Notice the hibiscus to the left of the statue.

One month later, it's taller than the statue. Amazing what happens when a plant is placed in the right spot.

The divided coreopsis which has doubled in size.

See? Only 3 photos. Maybe next time I blog I'll be finished and have more photos to share. I can hardly wait!

The Sun on my Face, the Books in my Hand

From Paula: I ran into the fantabulous Barbara Poelle at the Pennwriters conference, and she told me she missed blogging. Not one to miss an opportunity, I quickly extended an invite to blog here at Working Stiffs. Barbara, thanks so much for joining us today!

By Guest blogger Barbara Poelle

I am mere DAYS away from a vacation, I can already feel the sand in my suit, sun on my shoulders, and the delight of the waiter when he sees my hand in the air for yet another mai tai. Well, maybe that is more of a judgmental grimace, but SIR, I AM ON VACATION.

Despite owning an ereader for work, I am still a book girl, so per usual, I am packing an extra carry-on full of delightful titles. (I am not kidding, I even did this on our HONEYMOON).  See, despite being ensconced in prose all day, I still find reading to be my favorite leisure activity as well.  It's like the male gynecologist; just because he's dealing with lady parts all day, doesn't mean he isn't delighted to see his wife in the evening.  (For those of you who have never read a blog by me, sorry. The rest of you, you KNOW that was tame.) But here's the thing, I have a bit of room in my roller bag and I would love to find something surprising and delicious to lose myself in. Let me tell you a few titles I have so far and perhaps you can help me add a few more (and you'll notice no client pimping. A) Because I read everything by my guys already, and B) YOU should be reading everything by my guys already):

Full Dark, No Stars by Stephen King

I know, I am several months behind on this one, but COME ON, it isn't vacay without a King. I was in Mexico for my 21st birthday (and we will NEVER speak of those events again) and the morning after I decided to recover on the beach under an umbrella with THE STAND, and I read it cover to cover in one delicious, languid afternoon.  A tradition for me since.

(Okay, okay, and I cannot help ONE shameless plug...if you are looking to have a Stephen King-like adventure like I did in Mexico over a deca--uh,  a few short years ago, here is the recipe for that:

5 parts tequila, 4 parts Dos Equis, chips and salsa, shake well, preferably to Latin club music, sleep for 4 hours, then buy yourself Sophie Littlefield's AFTERTIME and the second one in the trilogy, REBIRTH. There is a reason why people are comparing the series to The Stand. After you read, you will want to thank me profusely and send me gifts. Don't deny that impulse.)

Born to Run by Christopher McDougal

Okay, so I put in my puny 20 miles a week, (often times crossing the finish line at the Boat Basin on the Hudson  for a burger and a beer-  I NEED TO REFUEL, PEOPLE) but this book explores the science, technique and even anthropology behind long distance and ultra marathon running.  Supposed to be mind blowing.

The Girl of Fire and Thorns by Rae Carson

This is me cheating because this title is not out until September but I have an ARC. (The first taste is free, always seems to croon from this dark alley.) OMG, I read the first 30 pages of this when agent Holly Root was shopping it, and I have been rubbing my gums and thinking about turning tricks to get just a few more pages ever since.

The Snowman by  Jo Nesbø

Okay, I'll admit it out loud...I am not a huge fan of the Larsson series. (I am hiding under my desk as I type that, should lightening strike me down.) But I have heard that Nesbø's  book, although compared to that international phenomenon, is one of the best crime novels of our time. Alright, I'm game to try.

Iron House by John Hart

I sat next to him at the Edgars! Ahem. Okay, so now that we've confirmed that Hart and I are besties, let me just say that I have been waiting for his next one and even behaved myself, letting it sit there, untouched, until vacation, as a treat. If you haven't read him, you should.

So that is a cross section of my intent, (along with a few romance titles of which I have three, so good there)...anybody have any further suggestions?

Paging Elmer Fudd

By Paula Matter

I had a nice, upbeat post all prepared for today. You would've loved reading all about the progress I've made in my garden. You would've been happy for me. It was that kind of post.

Then I went outside to take a couple more photos. . .

Rabbits: 9 12   Paula: 0

I no longer call the little bastards bunnies.

I'm not going to let them win. No, I'm not a killer (she wrote on a public forum), but I must stop them from destroying my plants. 

A half eaten lily

http://tinyurl.com/3auyhmb

Y'know what? I'm not gonna give the little bastards the satisfaction. Bitching about them gives them power. I'm gonna show you what progress I have made despite their evil ways. I'm at about the midway point.

                                                                      April 2010

                                                                      June 2010

                                                            June 2011 minus the mulch

Putting this photo up here before it's finished is kinda like querying an agent before the book's done.

 

April 2010                                                                                                 June 2011

 

 

                           

 

 

 

 

April 2010                                                                                                 June 2011

 

 

Okay, so maybe it wasn't that kind of post since I uploaded only photos. But you do see progress, right? I'll be back in three weeks with the final results. In the meantime . . .  http://tinyurl.com/4xp9e55



More From Oakmont's Festival Of Mystery

By Paula Matter

UPDATE: Edited to add more photos because although they didn't come out well, I didn't want to exclude the authors.

I made my annual trip to the Festival of Mystery in Oakmont, PA this past Monday, and had a wonderful time as usual. Some of my favorite writers were there, and I got to meet a few I hadn't met before. I took loads of photos, but many didn't come out very well. Turns out I should've been using the flash. I'll know better next time!

Annette (the good photographer) showed some of her photos yesterday, and I'll try not to repeat, but this one of Avery Aames is so nice. Congratulations again for winning Best First Novel at Malice!

One of my favorites, Mary Jane Maffini who won the Agatha for Best Short Story. MJ and I had a great time reminiscing about the panel we were on, ahem, a number of years ago. The book she's holding is THE BUSY WOMAN'S GUIDE TO MURDER, the latest Charlotte Adams. Can't wait to dive in!

The so very sweet Heather Webber. Always a winner as far as I'm concerned. I love her Lucy Valentine series. The book Heather's holding (stupid photographer, grrrr) is ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY  which came out in February. She's coming out with a new series about witches soon!

I'd never met Kate Carlisle, and I bought the first two books of her series. (Not something I normally do with a new-to-me author, but I had a hunch I'll like her books).

The fabulous Rosemary Harris, author of the Dirty Business mysteries. I look forward every year to buying her latest book. This year was no exception.



Of course, no mystery festival would be complete without our own wonderful Nancy Martin! After buying her new Roxy Abruzo book STICKY FINGERS, I got a huge giggle after reading the personalized inscription. . . Pictured here with Nancy is author Beth Groundwater, who I didn't get to meet, but I'm going to check out her Claire Hanover gift basket designer mystery series!

I met Lois Winston and bought her ASSAULT WITH A DEADLY GLUE GUN, the first in the Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mysteries. I'd read a blog recently about the story behind this book, and it was a hoot. With any luck I'll be able to find it and post it here in the comments later. 

Jess Lourey, who I met and learned from at last year's first MWA-University. I'm now the proud owner of MAY DAY, the first of the A Murder-By-Month Mystery. The woman in red, who I called the nun lady, is Alice Loweecey. Her first book is FORCE OF HABIT and introduces former nun Giulia Falcone. Both look like fun books!

Wendy Lyn Watson, author of SCOOP TO KILL. I would've bought this book if I hadn't won it in her agency's contest last year. Thanks, BookEnds, for the Scavenger Hunt!

This good-lucking guy is Alan Orloff, author of KILLER ROUTINE, a Last Laff Mystery. Alan's DIAMONDS FOR THE DEAD was nominated for an Agatha for Best First Novel.

I met Elizabeth Lynn Casey, author of the Southern Sewing Circle mysteries. I won one of her books (PINNED FOR MURDER) from the great scavenger hunt mentioned above. This time I bought the first in the series, SEW DEADLY.

I've read FALLEN by thriller writer Kathleen George, and this year I bought TAKEN. Aren't those great titles? I can't wait to get started!



This wonderful trio includes our fantabulous Annette Dashofy, standing between Beth and Avery. I'd bought the Kindle version of FISH TALES, but couldn't imagine not having a print copy. Y'all must go get this anthology! 



Two photos, if you can believe it, came out worse than any of the above but I do want to mention these authors. I bought the latest books in Sheila Connelly's Orchard Mystery. I'm looking forward to finding out what Meg Corey is up to in ROTTEN TO THE CORE and A KILLER CROP.

Brad Parks, author of EYES OF THE INNOCENT, was his usual funny charming self. I couldn't turn the pages fast enough while reading last year's debut FACES OF THE GONE, and I know that's going to happen again this year.

And there you have it. To everyone who commented yesterday about wanting to attend this festival, DO IT. You definitely won't be sorry.

Now, I'm gonna go curl up with a good book. What fantastic choices I have!